Memory Fails Me
by breaktherules
Summary: A look inside Kirika's mind as she begins her pilgrimage with Mireille Bouquet. This story is being revised.
1. Chapter 1 Who am I?

_I Do Not own the lovely ladies of NOIR. (or any of the men who mainly die anyway)_ This is a story set from Kirika's POV on things that happen to her during the series. This is the companion piece to "A Bouquet Of Memories" that deals with Mireille's POV on the series. I like to do POV pieces...(shrugs) I hope you will read anyway. This is rated T for Violence, angst, disturbing thoughts and images, slight shoujo-ai in later chapters. Please review:)

_**Memory Fails Me**_

_Chapter 1 – Who Am I?_

My first thought as I opened my eyes was how colorless everything seemed. I blinked, trying to bring a clarity and focus back to my vision. It seems everything around me was faded and blurred. What's wrong with me? I groggily sit up and try to shake these cobwebs from my head. I feel so hollow inside. I find I can't remember how I got here. Where am I? Who am I? This can't be real...it feels like someone has come in the night, and stolen my identity and my memories. I try to remember something ..anything.. as hard as I can. "NOIR" What?... What does that mean? "You are NOIR" the same thought echoes through my fuzzy feeling head. NOIR? Is that my name? It can't be. It's too strange. I clutch my head, as I slowly stagger to my feet from the bed I had been lying in.

I look around the room and notice a school uniform hanging up. Is that mine? I wonder, as I walk over to it and reach in and pull out an ID card. I look at the picture on it. It is a picture of a sad eyed Japanese girl with unruly hair, and the name Yumura, Kirika underneath it. Is this me? Is my name Kirika Yumura? I don't remember that name. I look across the room and catch my reflection in the mirror. I AM the girl in the picture. I run my hand through my hair, trying to make it less unruly. Why can't I remember anything? Did I have an accident of some kind? I feel so confused.

I walk around the room, hoping for anything that might spark my memory. I feel so emotionless too, almost like a robot. I go over to my dresser and open one of the drawers. Inside I find a gun. A Beretta. How did I know that? I pick the gun up, and it fits just right in my hand. Suddenly I know that this is something I know how to use and use well. My eyes widen as I remember that I know many ways to kill. I can kill in ways that no one my age should ever know. Or anyone should ever know. Terrible, violent ways to kill. I remember that I have killed so many people. But why? What I am? I look just like a innocent girl...these can't be my memories, can they?

As I look into the drawer again, I notice the silver pocket watch. Engraved on the front are two women with flowing toga-like gowns, one has long hair. The other woman has hair like mine and they are wearing wreaths around their heads. What does this mean? Whose watch is this? Is it mine? It doesn't feel like mine. I open it, and it begins to play a song. The song seems a little familiar to me, though I don't know why. Why do I have this watch? What is it's significance to me?

Suddenly a name comes to me- Mireille Bouquet. Who is she? Once again the name NOIR flashes through my mind. Wait..am I Kirika? Or am I Noir? Or is Mireille the one who is Noir? What is Noir anyway? I should know this...but I don't. Somehow though, something inside me tells me I must contact this Mireille Bouquet.

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I go to school and act the part of the girl named Kirika Yumura. I'm dressed in my school uniform, and have my Id card. I can pretend I have a identity here. Even though I know it's not really real. Even sitting here in this crowded classroom, I feel so alone. I don't remember the other students, even though a few greet me. I want to yell out to them with questions...

(Does anyone know who I am? Do I have any friends? Any hobbies, besides these terrible visions of killing others? How does it feel to laugh and talk with each other? Why can't I laugh? Why can't I feel anything but numb? Why...Why can't I be like you? Where is my family? Does anyone love me? What is love? Why am I alone? So alone...WHY?) but I can't. I can barely raise my voice above a whisper.

Later that day, a inner voice tells me to look Mireille Bouquet up on the Internet. It's almost like a preprogrammed order that was planted inside my brain. I also remembered that NOIR stands for two. Two what? I am shocked at first, but then I feel a tiny bit hopeful even in my emptiness. If I am NOIR, then maybe Mireille is too.

I find out that she is an assassin for hire. She's another killer. She's like me. Someone who shares the same secret as I. This makes me even more hopeful. I send her an email with my picture and name, and the offer "Make a pilgrimage for the past, with me." I knew that the only way to get her to respond to me, was to include the melody from the pocket watch with my email. I wasn't sure how I knew this but I did. If I played that song she was sure to meet me.

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Day of the meeting between Kirika and Mireille-

I finally made it to the place where I was supposed to meet Mireille. Unfortunately, I had been followed from school on my way here by a bunch of armed men. I was able to dodge and outrun the bullets that they shot at me with their guns. I slid down the hillside in the forest with the men in hot pursuit behind me. Luckily I was faster than them, and was able to hide with my gun drawn. I was able to kill the ones I hadn't managed to lose earlier.

Why were these men after me? And how did I get away without getting shot? I was able to singlehandedly take down man after man without much effort at all. In fact I took them all down with perfect aim. Why? How? I was just a Japanese schoolgirl, wasn't I? But all these men were willing to kill me for some reason. I knew then whatever I was had to be worse than I expected. I realized then that I didn't care that I had just killed a bunch of men. I felt nothing inside. Shouldn't I feel sad or bad? I ended their lives without a thought. Surely they all didn't need to die, did they?

As I walked around the abandoned construction site..I suddenly felt her presence behind me. Mireille Bouquet. I heard her ask in a sharp voice "Shall we talk? Let's begin with WHO you are!"

I looked down. I didn't want to turn around and face her for some reason. She sounded angry..and I felt..(strange)...afraid of her. Instead I flicked my wrist and popped open the pocket watch, hoping the song playing would tell her what she needed to know. I heard a gasp as the song played. Maybe she could tell me who I was? Maybe she knew? Then suddenly I could feel the presence of the enemy who had chased me before. They had found us! I ran off without looking at Mireille . Besides she would have to take care of herself why I took out these men.

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I sat at the end of a long construction beam. Dusk was approaching, and I looked down at the pocket watch in my hands. I tried to remember where I heard the melody that played from it. I wondered why it was so important to this Mireille Bouquet that she would fly all the way out to Japan to meet me. I had ran from her earlier. I never even got to see her face. Why was I scared to face her? Why didn't I turn around? What if she doesn't come back, or worse, she got killed by one of those men? I sat here and wondered what to do next.

Suddenly, I felt someone approach. I looked out of the corner of my eye to see a beautiful woman with a tall, lean yet curvy body, and long blonde hair. She was wearing a sleeveless red turtleneck shirt, with a black mini-skirt, and black boots. She didn't look very happy, and she had her gun drawn, but to the side.

"End of the Line? Not much of a pilgrimage, huh?" she said, in that same sharp voice.

She was here. This was Mireille Bouquet. NOIR. Maybe she could tell me who I am? Maybe she is the one to save me...

"NOIR?...I knew you would come. I've been waiting." I said, my voice soft but full of hope.

She looked shocked when I said NOIR.

I finally turned around and faced her. My eyes found hers in a instant. I had never seen such blue eyes before. I could feel our gazes meet and lock. I felt myself grow warm as we stared at each other. I felt such longing for her. Please...please...be the one who helps me find myself. Are you part of me? Do you feel it too? I was mesmerized by her. Why?

Mireille stared back at me just as intently, but seemed a little confused by the intensity of our gaze. Just then I noticed that the men were back. One began to shoot at Mireille, who instantly broke the gaze, and returned fire.

I jumped down from the long beam, and jumped across to the other side of site. I had to get these men away from Mireille and myself. I hoped that she would be able to defend herself well. I knew she was one of the top assassins in the world.

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I was able to kill the men that were after me. I made it back into another part of the abandoned site, and could hear shooting. They were after Mireille. As I came into the room where the men and Mireille was, I noticed that she was down and men surrounded her. One stuck a gun against the side of her face. I saw her eyes widen as she prepared to die. (Not Today, Mireille.) I thought, as I began to shoot the men around her.

I could feel her eyes on me in astonishment, as I took down the rest of the men any way possible. I realized I was very skilled in martial arts, and I could easily jump, and twirl out of harm's reach and still shoot with perfect aim while I did this. It seemed like I had superhuman abilities. I jumped in the air and took hold of the last man's necktie, and I was able to hang him from a beam in the ceiling. What a horrible way to kill. I held on to the man's necktie for a moment, as I realized what I had done, how many I killed, and the cruel ways I could do it. I still felt empty inside.

I could feel Mireille's eyes upon me, looking at me like she couldn't believe what she had witnessed. Why? She was a killer too, wasn't she? Why was I so unbelievable?

"It seems killing is something I can do so easily. But why don't I feel sorrow for what I've done?" I asked her in a sad voice, as I felt the wetness slide down my cheeks. Why did these tears fall? I felt nothing...

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After we had determined there were no others after us, we went back to the place that was my so- called home. Mireille had hurt her arm, and I wrapped it for her. She seemed very impressed by my 'field dressing' and asked if I had trained as a medic. I don't know, I told her.

She went on to tell me she had did some checking on me, and that this wasn't my real home, that people had pretended to be my parent's, and all my records were forged. She told me my name on my ID card wasn't even my real name either.

I just nodded in agreement. Yes, she was right. It hurt not to know anything about myself. I still felt like I needed that name on my ID card to be a real person though. If I didn't have a name, did I even exist? Kirika Yumura was the closest thing I had to a name. That and NOIR. I just still don't know what it all means.

Mireille demanded to know WHO? WHAT? and Why? from me. As I had listened to her talk , I instinctively disassembled my gun without even realizing it.

"I don't know why I can do things like this. How can I know this when I know nothing else? I asked, feeling so lost. I told her about waking up with no memory except the name NOIR, and my Id and uniform. I also told her about finding my gun, and that I knew how to kill very well.

"I realized I know terrible things, But why?" I asked her, looking at her beautiful yet stern face, with a pleading look. (Please tell me why?)

She wanted to know how I knew about her. I just told her I know she was known as a most trustworthy assassin for hire. By then I had also reassembled my gun, and laid it down.

She picked it up and cradled it to her face, as she told me she knew I found more than just this gun. She accused me of hiding it, and demanded that I take it out.

Her fierce tone of voice shocked me, until I realized she meant the pocket watch. I hadn't meant to hide it from her, I had forgot about it. I immediately pulled it out of my pocket, and put it on the table between us, and opened it as the melody began to play.

Immediately, Mireille gasped, and turned pale. I watched as her eyes shut tightly, and a painful expression crossed her face. Why was this song causing her so much pain? What did it mean? What happened to her?

"Stop it." she whispered to me, as I quickly shut the watch closed. "You KNOW, don't you?" she asked harshly.

I looked at her pain-stricken face. I really didn't know. I had the watch though, so I must know something, but I don't know what it is. I told her that maybe the connection is through the men we had fought earlier tonight. The ones that chased me through the woods.

She asked again why I contacted her. I wanted to tell her because she was NOIR like me. She was meant to be part of the two that was Noir. Why else would I remember her name, and how to contact her when I barely knew anything else. Somehow we were connected. I just still wasn't sure what Noir was, or how we were connected. But I wouldn't be alone. Not anymore.

"A pilgrimage to your past and mine." I told her instead.

She pointed my gun at me, and for a moment I thought she would kill me. I wondered if this was how it was supposed to end. I could easily get away from her. I found myself staring at her, waiting. She smirked as she flipped the gun over and laid it down.

She reminded me that she killed people for a living, and wasn't in business to help me. That she preferred to work alone, and intended to keep it that way. She got up and begin to walk away.

She couldn't turn me down! I needed her! She couldn't leave me here in this lonely existence. I had to have her help. If nothing else, at least until my memory returned.

"Please Mireille, please. I need your help. I need your help to find out what I am. I need your help until...until I find out that answer." I pleaded to her.

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Before we left for Mireille's home in France, she let me stop by my empty school. I said goodbye to this life I didn't really remember. But I just had the urge to sit in my desk one last time, and to pretend I was really just a regular student. I looked out the big window of the classroom and stared at the moonlight. Was I ever a normal girl? I really didn't think so.

Mireille stood against the door frame and watched me with a sad expression on her face. "I just don't understand it. Why would you want to say goodbye in a place like this?" she asked lightly.

I couldn't explain it to her. I just nodded.

"Even when I was in a crowd, I was always alone." she said, in a sad voice.

"Huh?" I said softly, as I stared at the blonde woman. Did she understand after all? Was she as lonely as I was? I had thought this same thought just days ago. Oh...Mireille...

"Sorry, that isn't mine. It's Ernest Hemingway, I believe." she said, as she looked up at me.

Oh..a quote. Oh well. She still must feel like I do. Alone.

"I'm ready to go now, Mireille." I told her softly, as I stood up.

And as we flew to France, I remembered the promise we had made.

She told me that when we found out the answers to our pasts, that she would kill me. She had to. It's what she did for a living, and the only way she could risk helping me.

I told her I'd be waiting for that moment. I wasn't afraid to die. I was afraid to live with whatever dark secret I had hidden inside. And I'd rather be dead than be alone again. I couldn't imagine a better way to die than by Mireille's hand, if it came to that.

A/N- This was hard to write because I am trying to think what Kirika might have thought as she woke up with no memory. I tried very much to write her IC, but it's really speculation on what she really felt or thought. I am under the impression that Altena probably implanted or left memories about Mireille inside Kirika's subconscious. That way she would know how to find her. Altena was very crafty. She may have wanted a Soldat hating Mireille with Kirika instead of Chloe. Chloe did value Altena over anything, even Kirika. While Kirika I believe valued Mireille over anything. So M/K would be the TRUE NOIR. Who knows? I just read a very good discussion on this topic which lead me to believe this might be true. I didn't like Chloe, but Altena might have just used her as a pawn. Which is sad.


	2. Chapter 2 Daily Bread

_Disclaimer: I do not own NOIR. This story is rated T for violence, and disturbing images, situations, slight shoujo-ai content. This spoils the second episode. This is the series that deals with Kirika's POV. _

_**Memory Fails Me**_

_Chapter 2- Daily Bread_

_France-_

I have been living with the assassin: Mireille Bouquet for almost a week now. I still have no clue to who I am, or why I can kill so easily. But at least I'm not alone anymore. I even share a bed with Mireille. Her apartment isn't very big, and there is only one bed. Still, I was surprised when she told me I could sleep next to her, as long as I kept to my side of the bed. I thought she would have me sleep on the floor, or even on top of the pool table if necessary.

It is comforting in a way to share sleeping space with Mireille. I usually lay on my back and try to always be aware of keeping my body on my side of the bed. Mireille tosses and turns in her sleep. She seems to have bad dreams fairly often. She usually sleeps turned on her side facing away from me. I usually look over to catch a glimpse of her long blonde hair, and her back.

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Mireille has a ritual of always going out in the morning for breakfast. I found out right away that she loves to shop, and is always stopping and looking in store windows, especially if they sell handbags or shoes. She bought me a white t-shirt soon after I arrived here with her from Japan. It has the French flag on it and says "France." I didn't ask for it, but she bought it for me anyway. As a souvenir, she called it. I wore it this morning as we walked about the city.

I haven't spoken much to Mireille since we had agreed to the promise. I didn't know what the future held for me, except I knew it wouldn't be good. Since I had been alone so long, and still had no memories to speak of, I just didn't have much to say. Besides, Mireille usually talked enough for both of us. Either she was quoting from books, making small talk about different things, or just bossing me around.

At her home, we had slipped into an almost domestic lifestyle while waiting on our first job to come in. She expected me to brew the tea, and help her with dinner. I didn't mind though. I wasn't alone. Nothing could be worse than being alone again.

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Mireille and I were sitting at an outdoor cafe, as she slowly drank a cup of tea, and pursued a magazine she had bought. I looked across the cafe to a TV that was showing a news report about a family who had been killed in an explosion recently.

Suddenly, I could feel eyes on me, and looked up to see Mireille watching me with a funny look on her face.

"You bored, huh?" she asked.

Truthfully, I WAS, but I didn't want to make Mireille feel bad. She had done a lot for me so far. Instead I shook my head "No" and said "Um-mm".

Mireille reluctantly got up from her chair, and slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Come on, let's go home." she said a bit disappointedly.

I guess she didn't believe me when I had shook my head "No'. I felt bad, because Mireille had looked content as she sipped her tea, and flipped through her magazine. I got the feeling that she had enjoyed having someone there to sit with her. She was lonely too, though she would never admit it to me.

We walked home after stopping off at the market to get a few groceries, and a loaf of bread for dinner. I carried the bag for Mireille. We came up to the apartment, and Mireille stopped to check her mail and sighed when she didn't receive any. As soon as we got inside, I put the bag of groceries down and went to open the window to look outside. It made the apartment seem bigger, and I felt better when I could look at the world around me. I liked to look at the blue, cloudless sky. It made me feel peaceful somehow. But I still felt so empty and emotionless. I wondered if I would ever remember who I was. I reached in my pocket and pulled the pocket watch out. I stared at the two maidens that were holding long swords on the cover. Why did I have it? What did it mean to me and to Mireille?

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Later that evening, Mireille and I prepared dinner. Mireille had changed into a dark blue tank top and pants, while I wore tan overall's over my France t-shirt. I busied myself peeling the skin off the potato's with the potato peeler. Mireille stood next to me.

"Will you get that knife for me?" she asked, as she pointed to a small knife that was close to me.

"Sure" I said softly, as I picked up the knife and did a fancy little turn with it as I held it out to Mireille. "Here" I told her.

She looked at me very oddly for a second, then finally took it from me and said "Thank...you." very slowly.

I wondered what I did that caused her to react that way. Maybe I handled the knife too skillfully? The look she had given me, made me feel like I was some sort of freakish monster. I had meant nothing by handing her the knife that way.

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Finally, dinner was ready and the table set, as we sat down to eat. We had a basket of bread on the table, and I grabbed a piece and began to tear small chunks of it to eat. I looked up to find Mireille watching me with a bemused expression.

"That's our daily bread. In other words, Heaven's blessing. So why don't you eat it as if you're enjoying it?" she asked sarcastically.

She was picking on me again. She liked to do this sometimes. I was finding out that she enjoyed teasing me.

"I AM enjoying it." I told her.

"You don't look like you are!" she countered.

"Really?" I asked softly.

"REALLY" she emphasized, as she made a face at me.

It didn't really bother me that she teased me, but I didn't understand why she did. But I didn't mind, this was just part of Mireille I guessed.

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Soon after that we had our first job offer as NOIR. We looked at it. Our targets were Jon Jaques Legrande- Director of the French National Puppet Peace Dept. and Pierre Quassat- a key officer in The Peoples Armed Alliance- a far right terrorist organization. Mireille explained to me why our client wanted us to take them out.

She looked at me to get my reaction, but I had none. I just stared at the faces of the men on the computer screen. They were just more men to kill. Well, that's what I was here for, wasn't it? It's what I was made for, I supposed.

Mireille just looked back at the computer screen and smirked. "Well to be frank, all of them are scum, but the cleaning fee is plentiful!" she said the last part in a singsong voice, as she accepted the assignment.

Later, Mireille and I find an underground tunnel that we climb down into. I draw on the cement wall with chalk as I make a target for us to practice shoot at. Mireille goes first, and she shoots very well. Then it's my turn, and as usual I shoot with my perfect aim. Mireille turns to look at me with a little laugh. Whether she's impressed, shocked, or jealous, I just don't know.

Then we go to a restaurant that we know our targets will be meeting at. We sit and wait for Legrande and Quassat to meet, so we can get a good look at them. We follow them to where they are supposed to meet later. Mireille and I rush home before the men meet, so we can load our weapons and map out our entrance and exit routes.

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Mireille wears a dark purple halter top, faded jeans, and black wedge sandals. I wear a sleeveless denim shirt, skirt, and white ankle socks with pink shoes. Neither of us look anything like assassins in these casual clothes. I wish I looked as good as Mireille does though. It must be nice to be tall and beautiful.

We make our way into the entrance and begin to carry out our plan. Mireille goes one way to take out the rebel leader.

I slowly come to wear Legrande is supposed to be. I look carefully around.

Suddenly, I am ambushed from behind by a tall man who begins to strangle me using a piece of thin wire. I can't breathe! I start to gasp and choke, as I desperately reach behind me and grab the man's glasses off his face. I break off a piece of the glasses and reach back and stab him right in his larynx with it. He immediately lets go of me and falls down choking as I fall to my knees, as I gasp for breath, and shoot him without even looking at him.

I look up and notice Legrande standing there staring at me with a frightened and bewildered expression. "No way! It's not possible...! How can you be NOIR?" he asks, as I feel my eyes turn cold upon him and I shoot him. He immediately falls down dead.

I feel someone behind me. It is Mireille, who is looking at the man I killed with the piece of his sunglasses sticking from his throat. She looks disgusted.

"Your work is just _so Garish_." she tells me, disapprovingly.

I don't say anything. I am just this way, I suppose. I only know how to kill by any means necessary. No matter how garish or messy it is. I know how Mireille hates messes too.

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It is still sunny and beautiful out, as we leave the place where we completed our assassination. Mireille walks ahead of me.

"Looks like a beautiful day, don't you think?" she asks in a cheerful voice.

I stop. I don't feel cheerful. I don't feel anything. Why should this be a beautiful day? I don't feel anything but confusion.

"Daily bread...I make a living killing people. But why doesn't that sadden me?" I ask, as those empty tears fall down my face.

Mireille looks at me sadly, and then looks down. "IF we knew that...I could _kill_ you and be done with it." she says softly.

I look at Mireille. She looks away as if deep in thought. I feel nothing...except a tiny bit afraid. I wonder if this pilgrimage is worth it. I must get my memories back though, but then when I do Mireille will kill me. It's a good thing I feel so numb inside, because I can't imagine how much it would hurt to feel all the things I've done, that I am going to do, and knowing in the end Mireille wants to kill me.

_Chapter 3 – The sound of waves- ep 4_

_I hope this was a enjoyable POV piece. This is Kirika's POV story, so I am going to focus on episodes that are more Kirika related here. This episode is a hard one, it has equal amounts of M/K moments, but Kirika is still so quiet and a mystery here that I decided to focus on her instead of Mireille. And I love Monica Rial, but I can't hardly understand her most of the time as Kirika:) I tried to switch over to Japanese with the English subtitles(it's supposed to come with Japanese) but I couldn't get it to switch over. Pretty bad when you can't understand the English dub and need subtitles! And I speak English!_

_My other POV series "A Bouquet Of Memories" will focus on Mireille's POV. In fact, episode 3 (the one with the Bella Donna Lily lady) will be chapter 2 of Mireille's story.(it was a more Mireille centered episode than a Kirika one). Then there are some key episodes that focus on both M/K and usually cause a turning point in their relationship. So they will probably share the episode 7- The Black Thread of Fate.(2 takes on that story with two different POV's)._

_Why? I don't know. This is almost my analysis of what I think the characters might have thought due to the evidence presented on screen, and my own view. Of course I see a romantic future for them(if they didn't get shot at the end like some speculate) so I tend to lean on the romantic side of things. I do use actual quotes from the show because that is part of the evidence given, but the thoughts and descriptions are my own. I'm not trying to rip Beetrain off. NOIR belongs to beetrain- not me:(_

_I hope someone finds this pieces enjoyable, I have done extensive notetaking on the whole series. I just am trying to understand these characters better, and to fill in the blanks and show how I think their relationship changed during the course of the show. I will probably do a Chloe POV on episode 12- Assassination Mission. It will be a one-shot. Unless I end up really liking Chloe, but until Hell freezes over, I doubt it._

_Please leave me a review, constructive critism. I would be very happy. _


	3. Chapter 3 The Sound of Waves

_Disclaimer: I do not won Noir. Noir belongs to Beetrain. This story is rated T for disturbing images, violence, slight shoujo-ai content. This is a story told in Kirika's POV. This spoils episode 4 from NOIR series._

"**_Memory Fails Me"_**

_Chapter 3- The Sound of waves- ep. 4_

_Country of Bulgia- _

Mireille and I had a job that was located in the small country of Bulgia. Our targets were the President and associates of The A-Tribe Corporation. Our first targets were two men named Tanner and Foster. The party was the place Mireille and I were supposed to eliminate them at.

Mireille and I both wore long, white, Grecian style dresses, and headbands with pink flowers in our hair. We were working as party attendants. I walked around and offered people drinks. Mireille and I had discussed when we would make our move.

I saw the men, Tanner and Foster walk up to greet the General who had been elected.They saluted to him. The young, brown haired one named Tanner, began to speak."Your Excellency. Congratulations on your appointment of Administer of Defense."

"Ah, Tanner! Thank you for coming, my friend!" the General said, appreciatively.

"As representative's of The A-tribe Corporation, We congratulate you!" Tanner said.

The General looks around. "But this is all thanks to A-tribe.." he says quietly.

"Not at all, General. Our corporation believes it is a direct result of your innate virtues. And I think you will find that it is the belief of the citizens, who consider the presidents faction to be the source of their financial problems." Tanner tells him.

As the General laughs, I walk over to the small group of men, and hold out my tray of drinks for them. The general reaches over and takes one.

"That may be true, but you cannot deny this is a big step forward for your project as well. Bulgia has a new leader, and you have gained a fortune, my friend." The general tells Tanner.

"And we are much obliged." Tanner says, as he raises his glass.

"It appears next year will be fruitful for all of us. So think of this as a celebration in advance. Enjoy!" The General tells them.

I walk away knowing soon it will be time for Mireille and I to complete this part of our mission.

Soon I hear the gunshot go off. The one that means Mireille has taken out her target.

People begin screaming, and rushing away. In the confusion, I am able to come up behind Tanner, and deliver a killing blow with a dinner fork to the back of his neck. He falls down dead. By then I am gone. Now to find Mireille and leave this party.

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Bulgia is a island country. We drive right by the ocean in our rented, red convertible. The view is beautiful. Mireille wore her usual outfit of red shirt and black miniskirt and boots, while I wore a long sleeveless pale green sundress. I tried to listen as Mireille went into detail about our job.

"The A-tribe Corporation promotes itself as a international security service. What they really do is coordinate "Coupe de Tat". Their usual mode of operation is to locate a region that is ripe with potential conflict and approach one of the local parties and offer to handle everything from planning, and training soldiers to buying weapons. It's quite a business, don't you think?" Mireille said, in a cheerful voice.

I just stare at her as she talks. She looks happy driving around this country. The blue water that surrounds us just seems to enhance her beauty. I finally look away from her. I shouldn't think her beautiful but...she almost reminds me of someone. But who? I don't remember anybody that looked like her. But then, I don't remember hardly anything of my life. When? When will I remember? And do I really want to? Knowing how I am?

--------------------

Mireille and I pull up to a beach house that we are to stay at until we finish our mission. The ocean is so close to the house. As soon as I get there, I go and lean against the railing of the porch. I just stare at the water...trying to remember what the sound of the waves reminded me of. It seemed so familiar somehow.

I could feel Mireille's eyes on me, as she leaned inside the door frame of the house. I knew she was tired of my staring and silence, but I just didn't know what to say to her. Especially if she was going to kill me. I knew I agreed to the promise, and I needed to find out who I was, and what I was. It seemed sad that once I found out, then I would have to die for that information. But I had agreed readily to the promise. And I would keep that promise too.

"Hey, did you bring a swimsuit?" Mireille asked lightly.

I look up, surprised. "Hm?" I answered. I didn't own one... Oh well...

Mireille and I bring the beach chairs down to sit near the ocean. Mireille is laying out in a dark red bikini, while I wear my sundress and my sun hat as I sit in the chair.

"Three targets left. There's the president Hammond, and his aides, Burke and Lloyd." Mireille said, as she shielded her eyes from the sun. (I guess she forgot to bring her sunglasses) I thought, glad that I had my hat on.

"It seems so quiet here." she said softly, as I felt her look at me.

"Yes" I agreed, as I stared ahead at the waves slowly crashing against the sand.

"It's so beautiful..." Mireille said softly, as I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't help but think that Mireille was more beautiful than the ocean in front of us. I turned my eyes away from her, and looked at the water ahead. As I did, I finally remembered what the sound of the waves reminded me of.

----------------------------

Japan- On her way to meet Mireille that first time- (1st episode)

I remember the woods. How the sounds echoed in my head. How the wind blew the leaves on the trees, making them rustle together, and the slick sound the grass made under the weight of the men who were sliding down the hillside after me. How the shots rang out and pierced the silence, echoing loudly all through the woods. I remember after I had hid, and was able to shoot the men. I was standing alone amidst the still bodies of the men I had killed. I realized then I felt nothing at all. Then the woods were quiet after all of the gunshots had faded. Just the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves again, and it sounded like these ocean waves.

I look over at Mireille, who has her eyes closed and a peaceful look on her face. I guess the sound of waves are comforting to her. But to me, they just remind me of how things are not as peaceful as they seem.

-----------------

Bulgian Airport-

Mireille and I are sitting in a concession area of the airport. We are watching the A-Tribe corporation's President,Hammond. He is standing in the middle of the airport, and he keeps looking at his watch.

"Looks like he's waiting for someone." Mireille tells me, as she watches him through a small pair of binoculars, and holds a book up to hide her face.

"His guides are located. I count four." she says.

"No, there are six." I corrected her, as I start to sip my soda through my drinking straw. I was thirsty and tired of sitting here.

"HMM?" Mireille answered in response. I knew that she hated being wrong, and was probably wondering how she missed the other two guides.

Suddenly, our attention is drawn back to Hammond, as a young girl who looks about my age runs up to him. She has strawberry blonde hair, and wears a red outfit.

"Hey Dad! Been waiting long?" She calls out to him, happily.

Hammond responds by slapping her hard in the face. She looks shocked.

I hear Mireille gasp beside me. She was surprised. I was too. I paused in my drinking of my soda. I just didn't know how I was supposed to feel about this. At least she had a father. She had a life.

-----------------------------------------

It is getting near dusk as Mireille and I return to the beach house. Mireille opens her laptop and finds out all she can about Hammond's personal life. I stand behind Mireille's chair, and look over her shoulder. She clicks on some pictures of the girl we saw at the airport today.

"Rosalie Hammond, age 15. The only daughter of the divorced Hammond couple. She currently lives with her mother, Julia in New York City. That's made it hard for Hammond. It seems that he's been so occupied fanning disputes in other countries that he rarely sees his daughter. Humph!" Mireille said, with a disgusted tone to her voice, as she closed the laptop.

"Hmm" I say, thinking of what Mireille just told me.

--------------------

I couldn't sleep. This beach house had separate beds, so Mireille and I didn't share a bed for once. I thought I might sleep better because I would have more room, but I felt funny without Mireille's presence beside me. She had tossed and turned as usual in the other bed, but finally seemed to get comfortable. I watched her sleep for a moment, thinking that I could finally see her face since her back wasn't turned to me like normal. I still found her beautiful, even more so in slumber. All traces of her usual stress was gone as she slept.

I finally got out of bed and walked into the living area of the beach house. I opened up Mireille's laptop and found the information on Rosalie Hammond. I found myself staring at her pictures. She was only a year or two younger than me. I know my Id card said I was 17, and I didn't look older than that. I actually don't know how old I am. I leaned back in the chair and looked at the ceiling. I tried so hard to remember anything I could about my past life. All I remembered was waking up in that room and finding the Id, pocket watch, and gun. And that I was Noir. Even now, that was all I remembered about my past.

I leaned forward in the chair as I brought my knees up to my chest. I looked at a picture of Rosalie and a friend, walking in the park and eating ice cream. I saw where it listed her occupation as a student. She was just a normal 15 year old girl.

(School...Friends...Family...) I thought about these things sadly. I remembered the short time I had went to school. How I had felt alone...I lived in that house in Japan all alone too...What did I do to deserve an existence like this? I wanted to be like Rosalie, a happy, carefree girl who goes to school, and has friends and family. Why? Why couldn't I be a normal girl too? Because I was some sort of monster...Wasn't I?

Suddenly, I realized I was crying...these stupid, empty tears...and I feel something...just a very small something...but I don't know what it is I'm feeling..

------------------

Next day-

Mireille and I are getting ready to eat lunch as we hear the screeching of tires and tanks pulling up to the beach house.

We look at the window. There are armored tanks everywhere, and soldiers jumping out of them.

"Bulgian Troops!" Mireille said, with surprise.

"We're surrounded." I agree softly.

"How did they find us?" Mireille asks, in frustration.

I know. "Hm!" I say quickly.

"Yeah, It must be _them_ again!" Mireille sighs, as she narrows her eyes.

"Okay, can we handle this?" Mireille asks, as she looks at me firmly.

"Hm?" I respond. (Of course we can, we are Noir..aren't we?)

Mireille decides to try and ambush the men from the roof with her gun, while I distract them by walking out of the house. I look so young and harmless that we figure the men will be caught off guard.

--------------------

I walk out of the house wearing my pale green sundress, tan shoes, and straw sun hat. I can feel all the soldiers eyes on me as they command me to halt. I look up. As expected, the soliders all look at me in surprise. I look so innocent.

Three armed men run up to me and point their weapons at me as another man frisks me. "She doesn't have any weapons, Captain!" he yells.

The Captain walks over to me and grabs my chin in his hand. I can feel my eyes turn cold upon him as he does this.

"Tell me then! What's a little girl like you doing out here all by yourself?" He yells as he stares into my eyes, which feel like they could burn right through him.

"Where are you from? Where's your passp..Ugh!.." he asks, before he gets shot and falls down.

Mireille is behind me on top of the roof, and begins to open fire on the men surrounding me. She takes down quite a few of them. Some of the bullets fly so close to me that they make holes in the brim of my hat. I hope Mireille isn't aiming for me too.

I pick up a machine gun from one of the fallen soldiers at my feet, and begin to blast away. I eliminate the ones that are left.

Mireille and I are driving away from the scene as fast as we can. Neither one of us talks. We realize that someone has tried to kill Noir again by giving away our secret location. The game is becoming more dangerous every day. But we still have to finish our mission somehow.

-------------------------------------------

Mireille decides that she will take out Burke and Lloyd in the parking garage, while I go after Hammond. As soon as that is complete we are to meet outside the office building and act like we do not know each other. Just pass by and go in opposite directions. Later we will meet up and leave this country.

I walk to Hammond's office and knock on the door. He yells for me to come in. I walk in and point my Beretta at him. He looks at me almost like he expected this. He looks at a picture on his desk, and back to me. I stare at him and try to feel sorrow that I am going to take this man's life. I want to feel it...I do...But I don't. I can feel my eyes grow cold again as I shoot the man.

He falls unto his desk, knocking over a picture of his ex-wife and Rosalie. A wrapped package falls to the ground too. I wonder what the present was for. And now Rosalie doesn't have a father anymore. I wanted to be sad...but...I felt nothing...

-----------------

As I leave the building, I see Mireille standing over on the side. I don't look at her as I pass her. I just walk away, knowing we will meet up soon.

As I'm walking down the street, I notice the red headed daughter of the man I just killed coming towards me. She seemed so full of energy, and life. How much longer would she be this way when she found out her father had been killed? And I was the one who had taken him from her.

As she gets closer I can see her green eyes. She drops a orange out of a paper bag she's carrying, and it rolls to my feet. I look at her. She smiles at me and waits. I guess she wants me to pick it up.

I pick up the orange and place it back into her bag. She still is smiling at me, but I just walk past her. I can feel her eyes on my back. Rosalie Hammond. She was just a normal girl, until the day her father was murdered. By me. And I feel like crying as I walk away...because I feel...something...just a teeny little something...but I don't know what it is.

_Chapter 4- Lost Kitten_

_A/N- I hope this was enjoyable. This wasn't the most exciting episode to do. But I think this was a Kirika centered episode due to Rosalie being around the same age and Kirika's feelings.They have her crying in my English dub version when she's looking at Rosalie's info. I know Kirika wasn't totally emotionless. I really think she wanted so badly to be a normal girl. I think she probably began feeling things even though she was in a induced amnesia. I just don't buy that she was a evil, killing machine. Dark Kirika maybe. _

_Please review- just let me know if you like it or not. Please?_

_Thanks to Baka Gaijin 30 for letting me know what "Coupe de Tat" is and how to spell it:) I appreciate that!  
_

_Anyway- Next is "Lost kitten" for Kirika- It is such a Kirika episode too, and the kitten is so cute(Aww, I love cats!) but "A Bouquet of Memories" (Mireille's POV series) will be next, with LES SOLDATS. A definite Mireille episode, and finally a little warmth between M/K. I just want to get to the real good episodes that are ahead. (And some of you guys know I am not fond of Chloe, but I love Silvana! Does that make sense? No..she tried to kill Mireille with a knife/sword too! I am strange...so sad.:)_


	4. Chapter 4 Lost Kitten

_Disclaimer: I do not own Noir. Noir belongs to Ryoe Tsukimura & Beetrain,ect. This story is rated T for violence, disturbing thoughts and slight shoujo-ai content. This story is through Kirika's POV._

_**Memory Fails Me**_

_Lost Kitten- ep. 6_

_Some Eastern European Country -_

The climate of the country where our new mission was to take place was cold. It was much colder than Paris. I wore a mustard colored jacket with a white fleece lining, a yellow turtleneck, khaki pants that were tucked into brown lace up boots. Mireille wore a burgundy coat with black fur trim, a rose colored scarf at her neck, with beige pants and lavender gloves. We were dressed for the colder weather. We pulled up in our black rented car to the place we were to stay at until our job was completed.

Mireille got out of the car first, and I was right behind her. She hadn't been in a good mood the entire trip here. I knew she was thinking of the events from just a few days ago. She was thinking about what she had found out from her murdered friend, Valnel. She was wondering about the meaning of the photocopies in the folder, and about our mysterious enemies, The Soldats. She had finally admitted to me that her family had been murdered back in her homeland of Corsica. She told me the pocket watch I had, was the one that had been playing the melody at the murder scene. It had belonged to her father.

I had believed it was mine. I guess because I had found it along with my gun, ID card, and school uniform after I had woke up all alone, and without my memory. The watch had seemed familiar to me, but I always had a feeling that it wasn't really mine. Why I felt that way...I don't know. But now I knew I just had one less thing in which to call my own.

As I began to follow Mireille into the building, I heard a soft "Meow" behind me. I turned around to see a snow white kitten with eyes the color of Mireille's. The kitten looked up at me, almost like it needed me. I looked at it and blinked. I wondered if it was lost. I wondered if it was cold and hungry.

"What are you doing?" Mireille asked. I looked away from the kitten, and over at her. "We're all checked in! Let's get to the room." she tells me, impatiently.

"Um" I said softly, as I looked down. I hated when she acted bossy like this. I looked over at the kitten one more time, before I obediently followed Mireille to our room.

------------

Mireille and I stand up on a hill and look down at the village below. Mireille is looking through her binoculars. She is doing surveillance on our target.

"Theres no one here who even knows his name, and for all his work he seeks no compensation. He's devoted all his time to helping the people here; for years...for decades. The people here idolize him. They even call him a Saint. But who he really is; Yuri Nazarov, a butcher for the KGB. During the purges in the U.S.S.R, there was an ethnic minority called the 'Tashkil'. They were slaughtered almost to the man in a Soviet death camp. Deaths that were ordered by Yuri Nazarov. Shortly thereafter, he quit the KGB and disappeared, erasing his traces so completely it was like he never existed at all. No one knows why. But now he's a Saint to the destitute." Mireille informed me.

"Our client's are the surviving descendants of the Tashkil. Although it seems that Nazarov is trying to atone, the hatred of the few who survived can't be erased so easily. That's where we come in." Mireille tells me, then she turns and looks at me.

"A simple job really." she says.

I look at her. "Hmm" I mutter in reply. No job is simple, I think. I feel somewhat bad for this man. He is trying to atone for his sins. Shouldn't that count for something?

-------------------------

Mireille and I walk back to our room. We don't talk. She seems deep in thought, and I can't think of anything to say to her anyway. Suddenly, I see a flash of white. It is the kitten again. The kitten stares at me with his big, blue eyes before slowly creeping away. I watch it as it turns the corner. I feel like the kitten has been waiting for me to return.

-----------------------

Mireille sits at the small desk with her laptop open and is doing research. I am sitting in a chair that I pulled over to the window so I could see outside. As I looked out at the street, I hoped I would see the kitten again. I think of it being lost...of being unable to find it's way home. What if it's cold? I remembered the way it stared at me with big, blue eyes. What if it needed me? I worried, as I stared out of the window.

"Mireille? I'm going out for a walk." I tell my partner softly, as I get up from my chair.

"Huh?" Mireille looked up at me in surprise, then watched me go to the door, before turning back to her research.

--------------------------

I have on my heavy jacket as I walk around in this chilly weather. If I'm cold then the kitten must be too. I look around the side of a building for it, hoping to find it there. I don't see it. I am surprised because I am actually feeling worried about it. I hope I can find it again.

I hear a loud noise behind me. I turn to see a garbage can overturned, with it's contents spilling out. I see the little white kitten digging through it. I feel so relieved to have found it! It needs me... .it must be hungry, or it wouldn't be digging through the garbage like this. I feel a soft smile warm my face. I was going to rescue this lost kitten. It really needed me!

-----------------------------------

I slowly open the door of the room where Mireille and I are staying. I try to hide the brown paper bag as I make my way into the room.

Mireille is lying on one of the twin beds in a red sweater and beige pants. She looks up from her magazine as I come in.

"I'm back." I tell her, softly.

"You've been gone awhile." she responds, with a almost worried tone to her voice.

"Uh-mm" I agree, as I hold on tight to the paper bag.

Mireille sits up, and looks at the bag in my arms in confusion.

"What's that? Did you buy something to eat?" she asks curiously, with a slight edge to her voice.

I look down at the bag, which begins to shake as I try to hold it still. I look at Mireille, and the kitten suddenly pops his head out of the bag. I look at the kitten. (I knew that I should have found a better way to sneak it in!)

Mireille looks at the kitten in surprise. Then she looks at me with an agitated look. "Please tell me...you're not really thinking of.." she sighs.

Later, Mireille and I are eating dinner at a local restaurant. We are eating quietly when she brings up the kitten again.

"Please say you weren't really thinking..." she begins.

"Hm" I respond, wondering what she is trying to say, but I think I know.

Back at our room, I lay on the bed on my stomach. I am watching the kitten drinking from a saucer of milk I have given him. The kitten looks so content as it laps at the milk. I keep watching as the white kitten drinks. I feel glad that I am able to give it this treat.

Mireille is lying in the other bed with her arms behind her head. She looks as though she has a headache.

"Please tell me...you're not thinking of taking it back to Paris with us, are you?" she asks me, pointedly.

I stare down at the kitten.

"Does this cat have a name?" I ask softly.

I can feel Mireille turn and look at me, curiously. "Huh?"

"If he has a name, then he's not like me. If this cat has a name, he's only physically lost. But I don't even have a name. All I have is a lie called Yumura, Kirika." I tell Mireille sadly.

I can feel Mireille stare at me before she turns over on her side, and faces away from me. I can hear her sigh loudly.

"It's all the same to me. It doesn't change the fact that you're just part of a much bigger lie. But then again, in the end I'm in the same boat that you are. We're both floating adrift in the dark at the mercy of the currents. In order to find the real answers we'll have to ask The Soldats." she tells me harshly.

"The Soldats. I still don't know enough to know what that means. Not yet. But I swear I will find out!" Mireille says firmly.

I look over at her from my bed. I can see the way her back goes rigid, and I hear the determination in her voice. I know how troubled she is by this puzzle we are both a piece of...I am troubled too.

--------------------------------

A little later, Mireille falls asleep. I decide to take the kitten and go outside with it. I know Mireille won't let me keep it inside the room for long. Mireille has fallen asleep with her clothes on, but I still pull the sheet over her before I leave. It is chilly in the room, and I don't want her to get cold. I wonder if she would do the same for me.

-------------------------------

I sit on a bench with the kitten asleep in my lap. I gently stroke his soft fur as he purrs gently. He is such a gentle creature. I wonder if he will ever find his way to where he belongs. I feel I can relate to this small animal.

"I wish that... at least I knew what you're name was." I tell the kitten, softly.

"P...Prince Myshkin."

I look up in surprise at the voice, and see an old man. I stare at him...and he stares back at me. I know him...

"Did you say Prince Myshkin?" I ask softly. The kitten immediately jumps down, and goes over to the old man. The man reaches down and gently picks the kitten up. He holds it against his chest as it nuzzles against his chin. I find I feel like once again, I have lost something I thought was mine to someone else. But at least the kitten has a name. He's not like me.

"You asked what this fellow's name was. It's Prince Myshkin." the old man informs me, kindly.

I look up at the man "So he belongs to you, then?" I ask.

"Yess...but the little cossacks been missing for a few days. It seems I have you to thank for taking care of him." he tells me, appreciatively.

I didn't mind. I was glad to take care of the kitten. I'm glad he has a home. He has a owner who loves him...except this man is Yuri Nazarov. Our target.

"Oh no, It was nothing really." I tell the old man, softly.

"Please allow me to thank you anyway, for his sake." He tells me, as he nods at the kitten. "Goodbye, young lady." he tells me as he turns away.

I stand up from the bench. "Goodbye, sir...and goodbye, Prince Myshkin." I reply softly.

The kitten looks back at me and gives me a "Meow".

The old man laughs. "The prince is saying that he will miss you." and then he begins to walk away.

I will miss you too, kitten...I mean...Prince Myshkin. At least you have a name. Not a lie...and you also have a home...except Mireille and I are supposed to kill the one who takes care of you... I think sadly, as I watch the old man holding the kitten walk away.

Suddenly, the old man stumbles, and the kitten jumps down from his arms. I watch in shock as the man falls to his knees, and then collapses. I race over to the fallen man to see if I can help him. I shake his arm gently."What's wrong with you sir? Are you alright? Please sir, you've got to try and stay awake! You can't give up! You've got to keep fighting! Old man, Can you hear Me?" I find myself yelling and pleading at this man to stay alive. I don't want to see him die...not like this.

---------------------------

I am sitting next to the old man's bedside, as a doctor gives him an injection of some kind. The old man is fighting to breathe, and looks very ill. Suddenly, Prince Myshkin jumps from the table he had been sitting on to a shelf on the wall. He looks down at me. The sudden movement of the kitten makes me look up in shock. I then turn my attention back to the doctor and old man.

"He has been pushing himself for far too long. Over and over, I warned the old fool. But he just wouldn't give any thought to his health. Always, he would just kept working for others. I'm afraid there's nothing more I can do for him. He doesn't have long left to live." the doctor informed me grimly, as he left the old man's home.

I look over sadly at the old man. He is sleeping now. I feel sad because he is going to die soon. He will no longer be able to feed the hungry anymore.

Suddenly, Prince Myshkin jumps down from the high shelf he was on. When he jumps down, he knocks over a picture. I go to pick the picture up off the floor. It is a picture of a black cat and moon against a purple background. The frame has come loose, and I notice another picture behind it. I pull the picture out and look at it. It looks like a family picture- with a mother and father with two small children. I turn it over and read the words that someone has written on the back. "Balkutsk- Year of our Lord, 1951." I read aloud.

Then I hear a knock on the door. I quickly hide the picture in my coat pocket, as I go and open the man's door.

I am surprised to see a large group of villagers. I force myself to give a small smile as I let them in. They immediately surround the bedside of the old man.

One old lady comes up to me.

"Dr. Svenson told us that you saved this man's life. We owe him so much, and now thanks to you..." the woman begins, than breaks down in tears.

She reaches out and grabs hold of my hand. I am shocked and feel uncomfortable at this contact. I guess I am not used to being touched. The woman kisses my hand.

"Bless you, God Bless you for saving him." she cries to me.

----------------------------------

I walk back to the room where I am staying during this mission. I keep thinking about the old man fighting to breathe...and about the odd sensation of the woman grabbing and kissing my hand in thanks. Why would anyone want to touch me? The woman thanked me for saving him...but I was supposed to kill him...not save him. I don't want to kill him...but a job is a job. I felt so confused..this mission seemed harder than the others so far. I don't know why I felt this way...I just felt sorry for the man.

I hear something behind me and turn to see that Prince Myshkin has followed me. Maybe he knows that his owner is dying, and he will soon be without a home.

I turn away from the kitten. The man is dying anyway. If I shoot him it will be quick..unlike the slow death like he is facing. But I don't want to do this...

I clench my fists. "This is my only chance. If I don't do it now, I won't do it ever!" I tell myself, firmly.

I hurry back to the old man's home before I change my mind.

-----------------------------------

I jump down from the roof, and creep slowly underneath the old man's window. I pull out my double mirror, and bring it up at a angle so I can get an idea where he is, and what he is doing before I shoot.

As I get a fix on his position, I see he is sitting up in bed with two small children visiting. I pull out my gun, and stand up and I take aim at him through the window. My finger is on the trigger and I'm ready to shoot, but for some reason I can't. I find I don't want to kill the man with those two small children present. Besides, I think he is waiting for something before he dies...

-----------------------------

Mireille is studying the picture that I found in the old man's house.

"Hmm..It's got to be a family picture, right? And from the looks of it, this boy is Nazarov. That's about the right age he'd have been in 1951. Balkutsk, huh? Sounds like a place!" Mireille replies, as she turns to her laptop, and begins typing.

"On the other hand, I've got one more clue about you now." She informs me.

I am sitting on the edge of the bed. I look towards her as she tells me this. "Huh?" I ask, wondering what she might have found out.

"You may know the underworld, excel in assassination techniques, and speak dozens of languages. But you have no knowledge of Russian literature." Mireille responds.

"Russian literature?" I asked, feeling confused on what this had to do with anything.

"Prince Myskin happens to be the protagonist of Dostoevsky's "The Idiot". He's the embodiment of a pure and innocent soul." she says.

I look away from her. "A pure and innocent soul..." I say softly. It is something I'll never be...even if I remember who I am..I believe that I was tainted from a very young age...

"That's odd, I can't find a place called Balkutsk anywhere." Mireille tells me in a confused voice.

I look at the floor. "I see." I tell her, softly.

Mireille turns to me with a firm look and crosses her arms.

"You DO know that it doesn't matter what kind of person Nazarov turns out to be, right?" she tells me harshly.

I nod. "Uh-hm"

"Nazarov is a fool. No matter how kind he's been to the poor, it doesn't change things. It may help his own conscience, but even the ones he's helped..."

I cut Mireille off. "I Know that!" I tell her, in the loudest voice I have ever spoken to her with. "And I think that Nazarov know it as well. But there's nothing he can do. I think he's just waiting for the snow to fall."

"Snow?" Mireille asked, curiously.

I look at the window at the snow that has started to come down.

"Yes, until enough has accumulated." I tell her, softly.

-----------------------

Mireille is still doing research, as I sit near her waiting for our next move.

"Balkutsk was the home of a people called the Norga. During Stalin's era, the Norga's enemies- the Tashkil's, raided and destroyed it's village. Now not even it's name remains." Mireille tells me this information.

"So Nazarov is a Norga?" I asked.

Mireille turns to me and crosses her arms and legs.

"It seems that after all this time, the last few remaining Norga and Tashkil are still set on killing each other. The years continue to pass, and the blood continues to flow." she tells me, then she turns around and leans back over her laptop.

"It's gone on for so long now that there's no way left to tell how it all began. What was the cause and what was the effect? So many month's and years have passed since the massacre at the concentration camp. I can't even imagine what's been going through his mind." Mireille replies.

Then Mireille turns and looks at me. "So then, where to now? Do the job and be left with a bad aftertaste or...Or since he's dying from a terminal illness anyway..."

"I'll do it. It's our job." I tell Mireille firmly, as I stand up. I notice that my partner looks at me in shock and gives a little gasp. I wonder if it's because I am so determined to carry out this job.

I rather him have a quick death than a slow one from a terminal illness. I just feel that if he is going to die no matter what, then I would make it as painless as possible for him. He's been through enough pain..

"I'll kill him." I say softly.

----------------------------------

Mireille and I walk through the falling snow to Yuri Nazarov's house. Mireille walks ahead of me as usual. She always likes to be in the lead.

As Mireille waits outside, I open the door to the house. Prince Myshkin looks up as I open the door and walk in. Nazarov is lying in his bed, and he looks up at me wearily. I pull out my gun and aim it at him. I feel the same detached coldness settle over me that I feel every time I kill. He looks at me in shock, and then the resignation sets in, and he closes his eyes.

I can feel the coldness inside of me falter for a second, as I realize how brave this man is in facing his impending death. I give a soft gasp, and it almost makes me think of someone else who faced death bravely...but I don't remember who I could be thinking of. I bow my head and close my eyes, and remember the family picture of Nazarov's. I open my eyes to see Prince Myshkin looking at me. I look away.

Then I calmly shoot Nazarov. Prince Myshkin runs away at the sound. Mireille opens the door and looks at me .

I turn away and face the wall. At least he won't suffer anymore...but I feel something...I feel that same weird feeling again that I can't describe...I think of Prince Myshkin. He had a name and a home...I just took that away from him...just like I took away Rosalie Hammond's father from her...

I am a monster...I just know I am...I'm sorry..kitten...you will end up like me after all...no way to remember what you are called...and no home to go to anymore.

I'm sorry.

_Chapter 5 - "The Black Thread of Fate" ep.7_

_A/n- I hope this was enjoyable. Please let me know if you like this retelling of Kirika's or not. I just want these to be interesting. Please review- you have no idea how much your reviews help me to keep on going and stay inspired. If you feel I have missed a key element of the story or have any hints I missed let me know. _

_Altena did make an appearance in this episode- but she was not in Kirika's view so I could not write her. But It was one of the first main Altena appearances- and was very interesting. If you have seen this episode of Noir- she seems to know exactly what Kirika and Mireille are doing. When Kirika shoots Nazarov – it shows Altena throwing her head back in ecstasy. I may do a Altena view, but I'm not sure. _

_I want to thank everybody who has been reviewing my Noir stories! I want to give a shout out to my annon. reviewers since I can't send you a reply by email. Haru-chan- You have been reading my stuff faithfully and have really encouraged me:) so I want to give you a big Thank you! (And Time out from the world we knew chapter 8) is being worked on and I hope to have it soon(hopefully it will be better than chapter 7- hair apt! yikes:)_


	5. Chapter 5 The Black Thread Of Fate

_Disclaimer: I do Not own Noir. Noir belongs to Ryoe Tskumira and Beetrain, ect.( I Do own some black thread, but it's not the Black Thread of Fate. I also own Red thread, but unfortunately it's not the Red Thread of Fate either..uh..What the Hell am I talking about anyway? Sheesh..) This story is rated T for violence, disturbing situations, and slight shoujo-ai. This story is told in Kirika's POV. _

_**Memory Fails Me**_

_Chapter 5 – The Black Thread of Fate – ep.7_

Somewhere in the Middle East -

(Opening flashback)-

I feel her standing over me. I open my eyes and see Mireille pointing her gun at me. She looks at me with a determined look on her face. Oh well... I expected this...

"Go on, Mireille. Do it." I tell her. And I close my eyes...

-------------------------------

Mireille and I had a job to take out a target named Varjun. It was decided that I would be the one to kill him. I made my way into his home and found him asleep in his bed. I aimed my gun at him and shot off two rounds. I thought he was dead and I turned around to leave. Suddenly, I felt a burning pain in my side and realized I had been shot. I spun around and fired the rest of my bullets into the man, finally killing him. Then I doubled over from the pain of my wound.

-------------------

Mireille and I are driving through the desert. I am sitting on a blanket that she had covered the passenger seat with. I could feel my blood seeping through the wound on my right side, and it trickled down onto my pants. I was in very bad pain. I couldn't remember if I had ever been shot before. I did have some faint scars on my body, but I couldn't remember how I got them. They didn't seem to be bullet scars though. I just wondered if I was going to die. It hurt so bad...

I can feel Mireille's eyes on me. I hear her tell me that we are supposed to get out and walk once we pass the river. I can hear the frustration in her voice as she asks me how I think I can make it after being shot like this. She tells me if we don't cross the Aramera by four, that our chopper is going to leave without us.

I open my eyes and gasp as I hear this. We are in big trouble, and it's all because of me. I still couldn't believe I had actually gotten shot. I thought that man was asleep. Somehow I had made a mistake in thinking I took him out. He was still able to shoot me...

Mireille goes on to remind me about being a professional and making a clean getaway. I know she is upset with me. But I can hear the tension in her voice, almost like she is worried about me. Or maybe she is just worried about herself...I don't know how to tell sometimes.

Suddenly, the Jeep hits a bump in the road..It makes me hurt even more. I can't help but whimper in pain...

I can feel Mireille turn to me. She starts to ask me if I'm okay.

I try reassure her as I shake my head. "No..I'm fine." I lie. I have never felt such pain that I can remember...

I feel my partner's eyes on me. Then I feel her turn away.

"Still, on the brighter side, If you would have been killed...at least I'd be free of you!" she tells me in a sing song voice.

I open my eyes and look up. "That's true." I admit. I think back to the moment that I got shot. I messed up. I wonder if Mireille really wishes I would have been killed. I suppose it would be a lot easier on her without me around. I am just a nuisance to her, I bet. Somehow this thought made me feel sad.

-------------------------------------

Mireille helped me up the stairs to the room we had been staying at. I suddenly realized that my ID card was not with me. I must have dropped it after I got shot. My ID card! It had my name on it..my fake name...but it was still mine anyway, wasn't it?

"Mireille...my ID card..." I begin feebly.

She stops and looks at me. "Huh?" she asks, sounding confused.

"I think I lost my student ID card when I got shot..." I start.

"What?" she asks firmly, as I see her turn to me in shock.

"I was carrying it with me...I just couldn't throw it away. It wasn't...It wasn't even real. It wasn't the real me or anything but..." I tell her, sadly.

I feel her look at me with a thoughtful and surprised expression. Then she begins to lead me to the room again.

"Just Be quiet. Now is not the time for this." She tells me.

I can hear the worry in her voice again. I'm sorry, Mireille...

--------------------------------

Mireille cleans my wound. She bandages and wraps me up. I lay back on the bed hoping the pain will subside. Even though I am injured, I still am worried about the loss of my ID card. Why? Why did I lose it? Why did it mean so much to me?

(When I came to...I was here.) I thought, picturing the bedroom in Japan in my head. I had woken up all alone without any memory of my past.

I remember standing in my school uniform, looking out the window of a empty classroom. I was supposed to be a student but...

(My name, my record's..all lies. Who am I? I Am Noir. Beyond that, I knew nothing.)

I remember finding and looking down at my Student ID card.

(But...even if it _was_ a lie...it was in _my_ hands. It was _mine_.)

It was the only thing I had really. The watch wasn't mine. It turned out to be part of Mireille's past. I guessed the Beretta handgun and the name Noir belonged to me. But I didn't understand those things. The ID card had _my_ picture on it, and the name Yuumura, Kirika. It made me feel like maybe I wasn't really a monster. Maybe I was who the card said I was... a normal high school student. I wished...

----------------------------------------

I felt someone standing over me as I rested. I slowly opened my eyes. Mireille is standing near me with her gun pointed on me. I guess she decided I was too much trouble in this condition.. I did promise she could kill me, even though we hadn't found the answers we were seeking. I guess I would die not knowing my true identity. Maybe it _was_ better this way. I had a feeling I didn't want to face the monster inside myself anyway...

"Go on, Mireille. Do It." I tell her firmly.

I see her narrow her eyes.

"Thank you for putting up with me until today." I tell her, softly. Then I close my eyes and wait for the end...

I can feel her hesitate. IF she is going to do it...she's needs to do it _now_. My heart is racing with fear...

"NOW_...hurry._" I plead.

I can feel her straighten up as if she is ready. I take a deep breath.

I hear the gun go off.

----------------------------------

I hear the gun go off...but I am not dead. The pillow next to my head has taken a bullet, but not me.

I look up at Mireille in confusion. She looks at me with a funny look on her face.

"Did you really think I'd let you take the easy way out? Not that I couldn't care less about you...or _who_ you really are...but you're my key to finding the Soldats. So until I find out who they are, I'm _not_ going to let you _die_! Once I've found them out though, I will kill you!" she informs me.

I think I've heard this threat a dozen times now. Mireille loves to remind me. It's okay... I am relieved to still be alive.

I close my eyes and give her a small smile. "I'd forgotten." I tell her softly.

---------------------------------

Mireille leaves to go get some more medical supplies and something for us to eat. She also is going to try to get a plane to come and get us out of this place. I am so weak from the blood loss. I just lay on the bed and try to sleep.

Suddenly, I hear a bunch of footsteps on the stairs outside the room. The door is kicked in. I can feel people rush in.

"We've got him!" a man yells.

I open my eyes and see I am surrounded by a dozen men with guns all pointed on me. This was not good. I'm too weak to take these men out like I usually could. I hoped Mireille would come back NOW.

"It's just a girl!" one of the men said, as he looks at me in disbelief.

"It's Her! Look at the _wound_!" another man clarifies to him.

"But she's just a _kid_!" he argues.

That's what they always say. Too bad I'm outnumbered and weak to prove them wrong this time.

----------------------------

The men surround me and two of them drag me by my elbows to a waiting truck. I can barely walk or even hold my head up. One of the men picks me up, and throws me as hard as he can into the back of the truck.

"GET IN THERE YOU!" he yells, as I land with a thud.

I can feel myself start to black out...

----------------------------------------

I am barely conscious and I feel a little delirious, as I open by eyes to find myself lying on the cold, hard floor of a dungeon like room. Three men are standing around me. But I am still too weak to try anything. I can barely keep my eyes open.

"This is the "Grim Reaper?" one of them asks.

"There is no doubt that she has something to do with Noir." a tall man wearing a hat and earring replies.

"This little _girl_?" another asks in disbelief.

"This girl has the scent of death about her." the earring man tells him.

I can hear another man walk up. "It's _her_!" he exclaims.

"What's that?" the earring man asks.

"I found it on the floor of the corridor."

I feel something small smack me against the face hard.

"It's your picture." a large man with glasses tells me.

"Mm?" I say as I turn my head and slowly look at it. It's my ID card! My name...

"Is that your real name? Or is it an alias? Why don't you answer? Are you a friend of Noir?" the man with the glasses demands.

I don't answer. I don't care. I just want my card. I begin to reach for it.

"Confess to all your sins! You'll roast in the fires of HELL anyway!" The earring man yells at me.

I am trying to grab my card. I am so weak...but I want my card...my identity...

As I grab hold of it, the tall man wearing an earring stomps down hard on my hand.

"IS that card so _precious_ to you? You bastard's _killed_ Varjun! You filthy assassins! You shameless demon! I'll make you _pay_ for what you've done!" the man screamed at me as he began to kick and punch me. I cry out in pain. I don't know if I can survive much more of this...

------------------------------

"Is she dead?"

"Don't be a fool! I won't give her the release of death until the burning sand consumes her!"

"And what of her friend?"

"Her friend was spotted in town at 17:30. There's a squad on the way."

"Let me check..."

"What's wrong?"

"No one's answering!"

I hear the men's voices as I lie on the floor. I feel strange...I begin to remember some kind of familiar chant...

"Noir...nom...jadis..." I start to whisper.

I can feel a bit of strength flow back into my body as I remember more of this chant.

"Noir...It is the name of ...two death..., Noir...it is the name of an ancient fate..."

"Two maidens...that govern death..."

The 3 men surround me again. One of them bends down close to me.

"What is she saying? A prayer?" the man with the earring asks, as he leans down to hear me.

My hand begins to do a strange ritual like move. It also has my ID card in it.

"Their black hands protect ...the peace of the newly born." I say, as I slowly roll on to my knees. Then I am able to quickly slit the throat of the man who is bending down next to me with my ID card. It has a razor sharp edge and I feel my strength return as I cut him as hard as I can. The man falls back motionless.

I hear two shots and the men behind me fall down dead. I look up to see Mireille staring at me. She looks over at the man I just killed with my ID card, and his earring suddenly falls off. She looks over at me curiously.

I sit up and hold my wounded side with one hand, and my ID card in the other. Only I would know how to kill a man with such a simple thing as this. But I had my card back again. My ID. But I'm still not sure why it's so important to me, when it's not really true.

"In the end, a lie is always a lie. I thought I knew that from the beginning." I tell my partner softly.

I can hear her give a small gasp. I look up at her beautiful face.

"Mireille..." I whisper.

She looks at me softly. "Huh?" she whispers back.

"Who AM I?" I ask her desperately. I know she doesn't know... but I need to know so much...I want to be a real person...not a monster...not a thing.

Mireille just stares at me sadly.

---------------------------------

We are waiting for the plane that is coming to rescue us. It is pitch black in the desert as we wait. Mireille lets off a flare so the plane can see where we are.

After she sets it off, we both look up at the sky. It's so beautiful and bright. The lights remind me of Mireille. The black darkness reminds me of myself. How strange.

Mireille keeps looking up at the lights as she tells me this.

"The thread that binds you and I is the color black, of this I'm sure."

"Blacker than pitch, Blacker than night, Blacker than the darkness itself."

-------------------------------

We both watch the lights of the flare fall back down...as we see our plane in the distance. I keep thinking about what my partner just said. It's true...isn't it?

Mireille and I-

We _ARE_ bound together. But She is the Light. I'm the Darkness.

I just hope my darkness doesn't extinguish her light.

-----------------

_Chapter 6 – Intoccabile Act 2 – Episode 9 _

_Author ramblings- I Hope this was enjoyable. This was a shared viewpoint on both stories and I'm not sure if it worked:) If you think the shared viewpoint worked okay let me know. I tried to make them different as I could. AS always, If you think I missed a Key element of story, missed an important hint, or am off on my characterization, Please Let me know. My sucky grammar and narrative skills I am still trying to improve..(sigh)_

_Thank you to Rune Traverse (GREAT Noir writer, btw), Sam7777, and Ray Venn Habuki -who all informed me how Kirika killed that man with the earring. I hope I described it okay here:) I couldn't figure out what she had done:) I'm a little dense!_

_That Kirika – always finding weird ways to kill!_

_Altena and Chloe made an appearance in this episode. I think this episode was the first appearance of my beloved Chl ay:) ( Sorry, I hate the way they pronounce Chloe's name in the English dub. I've known Chloe's in my life and they never pronounced their name- Chl ay! I couldn't write them though. They weren't in Kirika's Pov yet. Please review! Let me know if these are enjoyable. Thanks so much!_


	6. Chapter 6 Intoccabile Acts 2

_Disclaimer: I do Not own Noir. Noir belongs to Ryoe Tsukimura and Beetrain, ect.( And I don't own the dorky outfit that Kirika wears in this episode- Kirika sweetie, I would complain about that if I were you! If this story is taking place in 2010, shouldn't you have more stylish clothes? hmm.?) This story is rated T for disturbing images, violence and Mireille and Silvana locking lips! (Calm down Kirika! It's just a kiss of Death..um...I think...) This story is told in Kirika's Pov._

**Memory Fails Me**

_Chapter 6 – Intoccabile Act 2- episode 9_

New York -

The day is bright and warm as Mireille and I practice our shooting skills. We are in the woods outside of town. Despite having injured my arm trying to defend myself against the Mafioso Saints- I still shoot with perfect aim. The cans fly off as I hit them and land on the ground. It's only after I finish practicing that I wince in pain as I clutch at my bandaged upper arm. I am wearing a yellow t-shirt with a sleeveless green shirt over it, with brown pants. It's one of those outfits that I brought from Japan. I wondered who picked it out...I don't remember buying it.

It seems nothing has been going right lately. I am very worried about my partner too...

I watch as Mireille walks up to take her turn. She seems to pause and her face looks unusually tense. I can tell that she doesn't have her usual confidence. That's why I'm worried about her. I have never seen her act so nervous before. I wonder why she is so scared of The Intoccabile. I wondered what had happened between them that caused her to be so uneasy. She couldn't even bring herself to shoot her last night. That wasn't like my partner at all.

I watch as Mireille begins to shoot at the cans. She hits one and misses the rest. She drops her head and sighs. I want to reassure her somehow. She is going through something. I feel she needs my comfort...but I don't know how to give it, and I don't know if she would accept it even if I could.

Then a thought occurs to me...

I guess the fact that she wants me by her side as we sleep, means that she _does_ need my presence like I need hers. It doesn't feel so lonely if you sleep beside someone. I hope I'm never alone again like I was in Japan.

-------------------------

Back at Hotel- New York City- Next Day

Mireille received a call from her informant. Apparently, Silvana and the two remaining hit men were flying back to Silicy with our contract. She began making plans to fly there immediately.

She bent over the bed as she packed her suitcase. I walked up to her dressed in my purple pj's.

"Mireille...I was thinking... if Silvana saw your face..." I begin hesitantly.

My partner straightened up and cut me off in mid sentence.

"I _told _you! I _don't know if she did_, but if I _was _seen...then the enemy should have acted as expected." she tells me firmly. I can hear the anxiety in her voice.

I looked at Mireille with concern on my face. I didn't like the way this was playing out. I feel that going to Silicy now is not a good idea. My partner is nervous...she's not herself and this worries me.

"It's dangerous to go to Silicy. I think you seem sort of like you're..." I begin, as I search for the right words...to tell her that I'm concerned about the way she is acting.

Mireille turns to face me with her usual look that she uses whenever she doesn't want to discuss something. "Just hurry up and pack, okay?" she tells me lightly.

"Hm." I respond as I look away in frustration. I know I'm right...but I can't convince her of this. I guess this is something she has to face-her fear of the Intoccabile.

-------------------------------------

Silicy -

We fly to Silicy and go to our hotel room. Then my partner tells me there is somewhere she wants to visit. She leaves the hotel room and I follow her to a cliff that overlooks the ocean. I look up to see the seagulls flying in a circle against the bright yellow sun. I hear the crash of the waves against the rocks. But all I really notice is Mireille standing near the cliffs edge, looking determinedly out at the water. I wonder what this place means to her.

"Mireille?" I ask, as I walk up behind her. She doesn't even turn around.

"Go back to the hotel, ok?" she tells me, as she keeps looking out at the ocean.

I look at her with worry. I don't want to leave her...I feel she might need me. But I don't want to argue with her.

"Alright then." I tell her, as I begin to walk away. I walk a few steps then turn and look back at her. She is still standing there just staring out at the water. She is probably trying to gather her courage. I decide that I am not going to go back to the hotel like she wants. I am very worried about her and I want to keep my eye on her.

-----------------------------

I follow Mireille as she goes to an old ruin. I make sure that she cannot see me as I stay behind her. There is alot of bushes that I can hide behind as I watch her walk into the ruin. I walk around to the back of the building and I see Mireille standing on the porch, as she leans over the railing to sniff at the ocean breeze. I can't help but think how beautiful she looks as she does this. With her blue eyes and fair skin, she reminds me of the ocean somehow...like she belongs to the blue water and sparkling sand.

I see her turn suddenly and lean against the railing of the porch for support. I can see her face turn fearful as I notice a tall woman- who has lilac hair, a regal way about her and is wearing a lilac dress. By the way Mireille is acting, I guess that this is probably The Intoccabile.

I ready my gun, just in case, as I hide behind the leaves of the bush. I wait.

Suddenly, the woman comes up to Mireille and presses her lips against hers. I gasp as I watch my partner stiffen in shock with her eyes wide. I wonder why the woman is kissing her like that...why isn't she moving away?

Then, Mireille breaks from the kiss and tries to punch the woman. I can hear her say something about "A kiss of death" as the lilac haired woman grabs her wrist and holds it so she cannot be hit.

Mireille is looking at the woman with a look full of hate. The woman looks down at her and says something before letting go of her wrist. Then she turns and walks away, pausing a moment to look in the direction where I am hidden, before continuing on her way.

After a moment, I hear Mireille look over in my direction.

"You were supposed to go back without me." she says softly, still slumped against the porch railing.

I walk over to her holding my gun. "Was that...The Intoccabile?" I ask, softly.

Mireille nods at me. I think she's still in shock, and I think I am too.

-----------------------------

Next day- Shrine of Riveo- Silicy

Mireille and I meet at the front of the temple to discuss our plan of action. It is decided that I will go after the 2 hit men- Paulo and Dominic in the catacombs of the shrine. She will go after Silvana. I promise to myself that as soon as I take out the hit men that I will go to help Mireille.

We both run in opposite ways as we begin our attack.

I run inside a room that is filled with pillars as I encounter the dark headed Mafioso hit man named Dominic. As I take aim at him, he begins to shoot at me. I return fire when suddenly the red-headed hitman named Paulo surprises me and starts shooting at me too. I run away from the gunfire and I trip, falling on my injured arm.

I pause to take a breath, as I go to reach for my gun I dropped when I fell, my hand begins to cramp. My _shooting _hand.. I look down at my hand in disbelief and try to reach for my gun again. I can't grab it...What am I going to do?

I hear the two men begin to come my way. I grab my gun with my other hand and stand up and try to make my way down the hall. I begin to unravel the bandage that is wrapped around my upper arm. It still hurts and I try not to groan in pain. But I have an idea...

-----------------

I run into the sewers. I go into a room that has waterfalls all over. I hide behind a screen of water, with my gun wrapped into my shooting hand. I wait for the men to find me.

I hear one of the men enter the room. I can make out Dominic through the screen of water. He seems to sense me and shoots into one of the water falls, but not the one I am hiding in. I emerge slightly and I take aim at the dark headed man. He looks shocked for a moment then he falls back dead.

I come out from behind the screen of water and make my way out of the room. As I do, the last hitman left, Paulo begins to shoot at me. I run up a large spiral staircase in the ruins as fast as I can. The higher up I go the better...

Paulo chases after me but I am too fast. I unwrap the bandage from my hand as I continue up the stairs. As soon as I feel I have enough distance I make my move.

I bungee jump off one of the upper staircases with my bandage as my cord. As I fall I come directly in front of Paulo who looks shocked as I shoot him as I hang upside down. He falls back dead.

Now I have to find Mireille...

---------------------------------

I come to an open area of the temple. Even though my hand was injured before, I know I will shoot if I have to – (to save Mireille.)

I seen my partner standing there as The Intoccabile rushes at her with her blade drawn. (She's _not _moving, Mireille is just standing there!)

"MIREILLE!" I yell as loud as I can, hoping to warn her. (NO! I won't let her die!)

I fire my gun...

--------------------

My partner and The Intoccabile are wrapped around in other in an embrace...

I can see the triumphant look on the the lilac- haired woman's face, even from this distance.

My partner looks shocked and drops her gun...

The knife blade hits the ground with a clatter...

I had shot it and broke it from it's handle...

Mireille and The Intoccabile both realize what has happened as they scramble to retrieve their weapons...

I ready my gun again...

I see The Intoccabile pick up Mireille's gun and aim it at her.

Mireille has the woman's knife blade in her hand...

Suddenly, I hear my partner cry out as she strikes at the woman with the knife...

The Intoccabile falls down...

Mireille is... crying.?

-----------------------

It is getting dark as I walk over to where the lilac haired woman lays dying. My partner is sitting away from me and the woman, as she looks off into the distance.

I can tell she is bothered by this...her shoulders are slumped, and I catch a glimpse of her face.

Her eyes are sad... I wonder why?

"w..Why did you want this?" the dying woman asks weakly, as she pulls a piece of paper from her dress.

Mireille looks over her shoulder. "For ...my family." she says softly.

"To Noir, To a Daughter of Corisca, I now offer you the crown. You'll accept it, won't you Mireille? Just as you did before...

The Intoccabile whispers this to Mireille, as she holds the contract out. She dies before she even finishes her sentence, her hand falling back and the contract fluttering to the ground.

I pick the contract up and look it over. It is supposed to be a link into the Soldats.

I look over at my partner who is sitting so still and silent to the side. I wonder what is wrong with her. She defeated The Intoccabile, hadn't she? I am glad I was in time to shoot the blade away from the knife, or Mireille could be lying here dead instead.

I could never let that happen ...

--------------------------

Mireille stands up. She looks over at The Intoccabile lying dead and at me. She doesn't look happy at all.

"What a vulgar way to kill. Just like _you._" she tells me in a upset voice.

Just like me... I am nothing but a vulgar monster, aren't I?... Mireille thinks I am.

I must be.. I don't understand why ...but these words make me feel ...I don't know.

------------------------------------------

Paris-

I don't have much to say to Mireille on our flight home. I am confused by everything that happened this past week. I had saved Mireille, but she never thanked me...I guess I really didn't expect her to.

I just couldn't stop thinking about the way she felt. I didn't know how she _felt_ about me... she _was _planning on killing me after we found out about the Soldats. So I guess I was nothing but a vulgar killing machine to her, one that she would dispose of soon.

Then how come she slept by my side.. Why? She risked her life to save me in the Middle east? Why? She could have let me die.

Right now she is asking me something...but I just don't feel like answering.

Instead I just look at this window -wondering if I'll ever know the answers of who I really am.

Am I really so vulgar?

I am afraid of that answer...

----------------

_Chloe's POV story will be next - "Just a Piece of the Game"  
Chapter 1- The True Noir- ep.10_

_Chapter 7 -The True Noir- ep.10 - Kirika's Pov_

_ Please review? Pretty Please?  
_


	7. Chapter 7 The True Noir

_Disclaimer: I do not own Noir. Noir belongs to Ryoe Tsukimura, Beetrain ect. (I Do own Mireille! Please Mr.Lawyer? She's so pretty in her lavender dress suit in the opening of this episode! Let me have her..ok? ) _**Lawyer:'NO'** _Sniff...This story is rated T for...sob...Violence, slight shoujo-ai, disturbing images...sob...and mean Lawyers! sob.._ This story is told in Kirika's POV. (_This is the last silly disclaimer for awhile:)_

**Memory Fails Me**

Chapter 7- "The True Noir" - ep.10

Police Station-

The first part of our assignment is to take out a corrupt cop named Maurice Rubik. He is being transported to the station on misdemeanor battery charges. We are supposed to complete the hit there.

Mireille is dressed in a lavender dress suit and heels while I am dressed in a navy business suit with a white blouse and red tie. I carry a newspaper that I hide my beretta handgun in. We go different ways into the station.

As I enter the station I go up the stairs. As I come up the stairs I turn left and see somebody lying on the floor in front of me. I get a funny feeling and for a moment my vision turns red. I close my eyes. Why am I feeling this way? Something bad has happened...and it feels like I know what it is...

Mireille comes upon me and gives a small gasp. She stares over at me and we exchange a look. I nod. Together we whip around the corner with our guns drawn. We find Maurice Rubik dead and slumped against the wall with his hands still handcuffed in front of him. The guards that were escorting him are dead too. I notice a knife blade sticking from one of the men's bodies. I look at it...it seems like I should know who did this...it seemed very familiar to me...Why?

I look over at my partner who looks very upset...

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Apartment-

We go back home and change into our regular clothes. My partner wears her usual red shirt and black miniskirt and I wear my white fleece pullover, tank top and blue jean skirt. I wear my white socks and tennis shoes even though Mireille always makes fun of my shoes.

Mireille is sitting at her desk in front of her computer. I stand against the wall and watch her as she opens an email that has just popped up.

"It seems the first half of our fee has been deposited, so that at least our client believes that we did the job. Of course, I imagine there were a lot of people who had grudges against a corrupt cop like Rubik. I guess this time someone else got there first." She tells me in a weary voice.

I know it was something far worse than that. I could feel the darkness of the hit. Whoever took out those men had skills on a level of mine or greater. Somebody else who was a killer like me...

"You're wrong. This hit wasn't anything like that." I tell Mireille softly, as I look down at the floor.

"So if not that, then what?" she asked me curiously.

I don't know what to say. The hit had a _familiar_ feel to it. I wasn't sure why I felt that way. I hate to worry my partner with this...

Mireille looks over at me with a puzzled look on her face.

"In any case, we still have half of this assignment to complete. The one who is behind it all." she tells me, as she looks at a picture of our target, Judge D'tsaing.

Then she slowly gets up from the chair and her computer and stands up and looks over at me.

"As long as the preliminary judge is on the tape, corrupt cops like Rubik can get away with murder." she tells me as she walks away.

I follow her with my eyes. She comes to rest against the end of the pool table and faces me. She looks determined and I think that I find her beautiful somehow...

"We still have a contract to kill this guy. Once that's done, we can figure out what to do with the fee." She tells me.

I don't say anything. Instead I feel a shiver run down my spine. C..could I be feeling _fear_? Is that what's wrong?

I wrap my arms around myself. I don't like this. I feel my partner look at me then away.

"It's getting a little cool in here." Mireille tells me as she walks over to close the window.

I remember the feeling I had this morning. I have to tell Mireille. That something is not right even though I'm not sure why.

She walks past me as she returns from closing the window. "How about I make us some tea?" she asks lightly.

"Mireille!" I call to her as she passes by me.

She pauses. "Yeah. I know." she tells me in a tired voice.

I nod behind her. "Yes." I agree.

It's funny but she knows what I'm thinking with just a simple call of her name...

-----------------------------

We sit down at the table with our hot tea. Mireille wraps her hands around her mug while I tap my fingers against mine.

Mireille looks at me seriously. "So who could it be then? In this whole industry, there's only a handful who could pull off a hit like that. I wouldn't worry, we will find out who it is and soon." she tells me in a soft voice.

She has been a little down ever since we returned from Silicy. I think she is still recovering from her ordeal with The Intoccabile. She has been a lot quieter than usual. Now, she is even more worried. I wish we didn't have this new threat to worry about. So dark...and deadly feeling...I know...

I know it must have something to do with me somehow...

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Streets of Paris-

Mireille and I walk the streets to see if we can find out if anyone knows anything about the hit on Maurice Rubik. The streets are filled with gossip. We meet an older man who is sitting outside a bar.

"Noir!" Mireille exclaimed as the man told her what he heard.

"That's right! The word on the street is that the one who popped the cop at the courthouse was none other than Noir. That hit was something else, but that's Noir for you. I didn't believe it when I heard Noir was taking contracts again but I guess it's true! Me, I'm just happy Rubik got his, I mean I may be a crook but cops who work both sides of the street are the lowest form of scum! I bet he's roasting in the fires of hell right now!" The man tells us drunkenly.

I knew it would have something to do with Noir. It always does...

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Paris at night-

Mireille and I are having dinner in a boat restaurant on the river. There is a small candle burning on our table. Mireille has both elbows on the table and is twisting her fingers together. I can tell she is very distressed over what we learned on the street today. I sit with my hands in my lap and try to listen to what my partner is telling me.

"The rumor seems to be everywhere. From dozens of the best information sources in the underground are saying that Noir did it." she tells me.

I look at her intently. She looks up at me with her brow furrowed and a perplexed expression on her face. "By Noir, aren't they referring to _us_ or are they referring to whoever really killed Rubik?" she asks me intently.

I look down. "I don't know...but if someone's looking for Noir..." I trail off.

I feel.. funny...like I am being watched. I also am wondering who this other Noir is..

Suddenly the wind picks up and the candle's light starts to flicker. I look at Mireille who is looking very upset. "I don't like the way this wind is blowing." she tells me seriously.

I look over across the river. I see a tall figure standing under a street light wearing a long green cloak. Odd, but somehow the person seems familiar to me.

I look back at my partner. She is looking down. "He who sees his own shadow dies." she says ominously.

I wonder what she means. I wonder if she means she is going to die because of this new threat? I feel worried. I don't want her to die. Why does she say this?

She looks up and rubs her chin. "It's from a book or something, isn't it? Poe, I think."

She looks distressed again and I notice the candle's light has blown out from the wind. I wonder if that is a sign..Mireille reminds me of light..and then she worries about dying and the candle blows out. Will I be the one that blows out her light? I felt that way before. Am I going to destroy my partner? I can't...

It's all because of me, isn't it? Why do I have the feeling that it is all my fault? All of Mireille's pain to come...will be because of me. Because of what I am..

--------------------------------

The apartment-

We are back at the apartment after dinner. Mireille is sitting at the desk looking over the Greone contract and the photocopies that Valnel had found for her. She is studying them closely.

"Noir...the Soldat's, a mysterious organization that was somehow involved in the birth of the Mafia? How can it all be connected?" Mireille is saying, but she really isn't talking to me. She is just thinking out loud and I see her close her eyes as she tries to figure out her worries.

I look over at the plant. I notice that it's leaves are looking a little shriveled. I must make sure I water it better. I don't want it to turn black...

I feel something is coming... I turn to look out at the window worriedly...

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Next night-

I watch as Mireille goes first as we target practice in the underground tunnel we use to hone our skills. After she finishes, I walk up and begin to shoot knowing that my aim will be dead-on as usual.

"Our deadline is tonight." she tells me seriously as I shoot.

I keep on shooting watching the bullets hit their mark. Tonight something is coming that will change things. I don't know why but I know it has to do with me.

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The apartment-

We prepare our guns for the upcoming assignment. I wipe my gun down with an oily cloth as Mireille inserts a magazine, racks the slide of her gun, then we both lay our weapons down on the table. They are ready to go.

We walk over to the window and pause. I look over at my partner as she stands with her back against the window arms crossed. She's facing me with a sad look on her face.

"It's possible that assassin might appear again." I suggest to her softly.

"Then we wait for that moment and make that chance our target. That's our style." she tells me determinedly.

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Paris streets- night

We walk around town hoping to find out who that other assassin is. I know they will show up again...they are connected to me...I know it.

After a few trips around town, over the bridge and under streetlights, we decide to head to the place to carry out the rest of the assignment.

-----------------------

The Library-

The judge is closing his briefcase as Mireille and I come up behind him. we both have our guns pointing on him.

He laughs. "You _did_ come!" he exclaims, as he whips his gun out and points it at Mireille. He expected us...we walked into a trap!

As soon as I thought that, the upper floor of the library is filled with policeman loyal to this judge. They all point their weapons on us.

I am not worried about these policemen, we have been outnumbered before, but we were set up and I had a bad feeling about it...

"Impressive, when it's not part of your job you can be quite dedicated." My partner tells him, in a disgusted voice.

The Judge laughs at her. He points his gun straight on her. "Two bit assassins, you should learn your place! In my eyes, you don't even deserve a try, but before I place judgment- you're going to tell me who hired you." he tells us.

Both Mireille and I give him a harsh look. There is no way we will tell him anything..

Suddenly, we hear a blood curdling scream. The judge and Mireille turn at the sound.

All of a sudden, a body of a cop falls from the floors above us. He lands right between Mireille and Judge D'Etsaing. As the judge looks up, my partner dashes up the stairs as the cops nearby open fire on her. The judge aims at me, but I quickly backflip away, firing a few rounds at him as I do.

I am able to take out another policeman shooting at me, while Mireille is engaging in gunfire across the room. I hope she will be okay...

------------------------------

I am trying to catch my breath as I listen to the gunfire from across the room. It seems my partner is still in the middle of it. Two policeman are shooting at me from across the room. I turn around quickly and am able to take them both out.

I get up from my hiding place in time to see Mireille running towards me and shooting a cop. She jumps gracefully over his body as he falls down.

Strange...I feel like I am being watched...

We begin to shoot the remainder of the policemen. It seems quiet but as I walk by a aisle of the library, I notice a young blonde policeman who begins to fire his gun at me. He must be nervous because his bullets don't come anywhere near me. I look at him sadly as he continues to shoot me...But I feel nothing for what I am about to do. I calmly raise my gun and am able to take him out with one nice shot to his head.

Suddenly I hear another blood curdling scream...and I feel the same feeling that I felt this morning. That same deadly presence...just like me...

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Downstairs of the Library-

Mireille and I run down the stairs and see our target Judge D'Estaing dead on the floor. A knife is near his head and sticking out of his body. Mireille looks upset.

I knew this would happen.. It was just like this morning...I feel it too...turn around..

As soon as I think that, I feel her presence and so does Mireille. We both whip around with our guns drawn.

Standing there is a tall girl about my age. She has purplish hair and is wearing a long green cloak. She was the one I saw underneath the street lamp as I was eating dinner with Mireille. She's deadly calm. I can't help but think that I know her from somewhere...she seems very familiar to me.. ...

"Alright, who are you?" Mireille asks, looking puzzled by the appearance of this girl.

I stare at her...trying to remember why and how I would know her. Her eyes...deadly and black...they seem so familiar to me...her skin so pale...

The girl stands there and doesn't answer Mireille's question. It's almost like she is enjoying our bewilderment.

Finally she answers with a tiny smile.

"Chloe" she tells us softly in a voice almost like mine.

"Right. And you are?" my partner asks confused, but with a edge to her voice. I can tell she's getting tired of this game.

"_The True Noir"_ she tells us proudly.

I can hear Mireille gasp in shock beside me. I narrow my eyes. What does she mean by the _true Noir?_ Is that how we are related? I am _Noir _too. If it is a name for two does that mean I am supposed to be with her? Or is Mireille the one? Who am I then? This girl is familiar but I still don't know why.

Mireille and I stand there and point our gun on this girl named Chloe. Suddenly she walks away and over to Mireille. I keep my eyes and my gun on her as she walks.

She begins to walk past Mireille who looks shocked and goes to aim her gun on the girl. Then Chloe doubles back and points a knife blade against my partner's throat, blocking her from pointing her gun on her.

I point my gun at Chloe. I won't let her hurt Mireille. I'll kill her first. No matter what or who she is! I can't let her kill my partner.

The girl stares at me. She looks at me almost desperately, as Mireille stands there unmoving.

"If you'd really like, we can see who's faster." she dares me, with a wild look in her eyes.

I don't answer her. I calmly keep my gun on her and wonder if I should kill her now.

Then she lowers her knife from Mireille's throat and looks away from me.

"I _am _the _true Noir, _you know." she tells us firmly.

I keep holding my gun on her as she begins to walk away. When I feel she is no longer a threat, I lower my gun and look over at my partner.

She looks angry and is rubbing her throat where the knife blade was. Mireille turns and looks at me. She gives me a sad look. We both stare at the door where Chloe departed.

I was relieved that I didn't have to kill her. I had a feeling I would see her again. I don't know how we were connected but I knew that we were. I had a bad feeling about our bond though...it was dark...and I was afraid of what this might mean to Mireille and I. The girl threatened to kill her. She said she was the _true__Noir_. Where did that leave my partner? Was her premonition going to come true? Was she going to die? Was she just a shadow and was I the one to blow out her light?

I couldn't let that happen...I don't know why...but I'll never let her die...

_Chapter 8 – Season of Hell - ep.13_

_A/n- I hope this was enjoyable. If you guys enjoy these- I don't mind writing them! Just some feedback please?_

_To the ones that Do review my stories- I thank you so much!_


	8. Chapter 8 Season Of Hell

Disclaimer: I do not own Noir. Noir belongs to Ryoe Tsukimura and Beetrain, ect. This story is rated T. This is from Kirika's Pov. This spoils episode 13 of series.

**Memory Fails Me**

Chapter 8 – 'Season of Hell'

I couldn't help but notice him as I walked through the park. I was on my way back from shopping, my brown bag nestled in my arms. The man was sitting on the grass, near the water and he was painting a picture.

I had a sudden urge to see his work, so I slowly walked up behind him and peered over his shoulder. It was beautiful...

"You're very good." I told him softly.

He looked up at me. "That's not true." he replied modestly, as he looked down at his painting.

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The next day-

Mireille was looking at necklaces that were displayed for sale along the sidewalk. I stood behind her patiently, I was used to this by now. My partner could never resist a chance to shop. I realized that it was one of her favorite activities, next to her fondness for a good cup of tea.

"Hmm, this one's nice!" she exclaimed, then she looked over at another one. "Oh, but this one's nice too! Decisions, decisions." she said, unable to make up her mind as she looked back and forth.

I sighed to myself. I turned away from my partner and noticed the window of the art supply store. I thought about the man who was painting at the park yesterday.

Suddenly, I decided that I wanted to try to create something of my own. I wanted to see if I could make something beautiful instead of ugliness and death.

I walked over to the store window and looked at the selection of sketchbooks, paints and canvases that were displayed. A sketchbook is what I needed...

I felt my partner come up behind me. She looked in the window of the art store, then stared over at me. "What is it?" she asked me curiously.

I just looked over at the sketchbooks, not knowing how to ask her for one...

"A sketchbook, huh?" Mireille asked, as she followed my gaze. "You mean, that you want one?"

I looked up at her and nodded shyly. "Mm hm" I agreed, then I turned to face the window of the store again. I wondered what she'd say to me...

"For sketching, right?" she asked, giving me a sidelong glance.

(I wondered what else she thought I would do with it?) "Uh Hm" I responded, as I nodded my head in affirmation.

Mireille put her hand on her hip and looked at me. "Well, I suppose it is time you took up a hobby like everyone else. So if you want it, let's hurry up and get it." she told me cheerfully, as she turned to go inside the art store to pay.

I felt relief at her words. She was going to buy me something I wanted so that I could have a hobby! Everyone had a hobby, didn't they? If I had one...

**I'd be like everyone else. **

If I have a hobby, I would be a **normal** girl, right?

I'd have a hobby that was not about killing or death. It would be something that I chose for myself.

Then I wouldn't be just a killer or a monster anymore. Would I?

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I walked to the park with my new sketchbook, brush and paints. I found a nice spot near the water and settled down on the green grass. I rested my sketchbook against my knees as I stared out at the blue water. I wondered if I could capture the beauty of what was before me.

It was nice to be able to see past the darkness for once. The water sparkled as the sun glinted off of it. In that moment, I decided that was the image I wanted to capture in my painting.

"Hello"

I looked up and noticed the man that I saw yesterday was back. His hair was brown, he was tall and wearing a blue shirt, pants and a long khaki trench coat. His face was kind...

I looked up at him in surprise. I hurried and pulled myself up from the grass and stood up.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Uh, I mean, I guess I'm in your spot." I told him shyly.

He looked at me in confusion. "My spot?" he asked.

I nodded in embarrassment. "Uh-huh"

"I don't believe this spot belongs to anyone." he replied, then he turned and began to walk close to the water's edge.

He turned to look back at me. "Now, if you want to draw here, you're certainly welcome." he told me softly.

A gentle wind began to blow as we stood there.

"What a great breeze, isn't it a gorgeous day?" he asked, before settling down in the grass with his art supplies. "Uh huh" I agreed, as the wind blew against my hair and jacket.

"In any case, don't let me bother you!" he replied, as he began to paint.

"Sure." I responded softly.

------------------------------

I sat near him in the grass as we painted. I had my sketchbook resting against my knees as I dipped my paintbrush in the blue paint, then I began to apply the paint on the paper.

The man looked over at me. "Uh, hey, you're starting with a brush first?" he asked.

(Was I doing something wrong? Is this not how you are supposed to paint? )

I turned and looked at him curiously. "Huh?" I asked.

"I mean, most people sketch it out beforehand." he explained softly.

I looked down at my painting on my lap. "Is that how it's done?" I asked curiously.

The man smiled at me and waved his paintbrush in the air. "Well, don't mind me. I'm sure it will be alright. They say the best way is the way that you want it." he reassured me cheerfully.

He was being so kind to me. He seemed to care about what I was doing. I just met him but he made me feel different. He acted just like I was just a regular girl with a hobby.

I looked at him and smiled. "Okay" I responded.

------------------

We were still sitting on the grass painting as dusk approached. I felt as though I could sit here all day and night and just keep painting. I didn't want to stop because I felt at peace somehow.

"Well, the sun is starting to set. Time for me to call it quits." the man told me as he gathered up his things and stood up. He turned and looked at me. "So you're going to keep at it?" he asked me gently.

I looked down at my painting. It was almost finished, and I was still holding my paintbrush against it in mid stroke. I put my paintbrush down.

"Uh, Your painting is very distinctive." he replied.

I stared at my painting closely. "It's distinctive?" I asked softly.

"I'm not very good myself, but that's really something unique." he told me with admiration in his voice.

He liked my painting? He thought it was distinctive? Did I create something beautiful to him? Out of all my darkness...could I really create beauty? Did I? I'm not just a killer then, am I? Is there beauty inside me beneath all the darkness?

I looked at my painting again..

"Look, don't mind me, I'm just talking. What's best is to please yourself." he reassured me.

Once again, I looked at him and gave him a smile. "Okay" I reply.

-------------------

We stand in front of the closed art store after leaving the park together.

"If you ever need any supplies, this is the best place. The quality is good and the prices are reasonable." he informs me.

"Thank you. I'll do that." I replied gratefully as I looked up at him.

He turned and looked into the store window. "Ah, sold out again!" he sighed in disappointment. I turned to find out what he was staring at.

"The owner of this shop makes those tiles himself. Everyone wants one but he refuses to print more than limited runs. So stubborn!" he replied.

I stared at the window thoughtfully. Those tiles meant a lot to him...

"Later, okay?" the man replied, as he turned around and walked down the street.

I just watched him go. I found myself hoping I would see him again soon.

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The next day-

I am sitting in the park staring out at the water when suddenly a leaf fell in front of me. Then another was hanging in front of my eyes.

"Huh?" I wondered, as I looked up in surprise. I smiled as I realized it is the man who has been painting with me. He sat down next to me in the grass.

"There we go." he said softly.

He pulled out his supplies and we began to paint. I felt so comfortable with him as I realized that he treated me like a normal girl. He didn't want answers from me- like Mireille did, and he didn't want to kill me- like the Soldats did.

I felt so content just painting beside him...

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Later that evening-

Mireille and I were sitting opposite each other as we ate dinner at the table. I took a few bites of my soup as my partner stirred her spoon around in her teacup.

Suddenly, I could feel her stare over at me.

"So do you see him often?" she asked lightly.

I paused in my eating and looked over at her. "Huh?" I asked.

Mireille looked at me unhappily. "That man you were painting with. What's his name?" she asked, still stirring her tea.

"I don't know." I admitted softly, as I looked down.

We had never told each other our names. It didn't seem to matter anyway.

Mireille finally pulled her spoon out of her teacup and took a sip of tea. "Oh. Well, you shouldn't see him anymore." she warned me.

I looked over at her in surprise. I wondered why she was telling me to stay away from him. Why would she care if I painted with someone? He wasn't our enemy or a Soldat. She just didn't understand that I had found someone who treated me normally.

We ate the rest of our meal in silence.

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The next day-

I stopped to look in the window of the art store on my way to the park. I noticed that the tiles were still sold out. I turned and walked away, hoping they would come in soon..

As I walked to my usual spot in the park, I noticed the man resting underneath a tree. I walked over to where his jacket was lying and I pick it up off of the ground. As I do, something shiny with a ribbon fell out of the pocket. I tried to catch it before it hit the ground, then I looked at it carefully. It was a medal of some kind.

"Like it? It's your's. The legion gave me that. The foreign legion, that is, for distinguished service in Guiana." the man told me as he rested underneath the tree.

He sat up and looked over at me. "I'm Milosh Havel, I'm Czechoslovakian." then he looked away. "Of course, I've been away from there for so long, it's not the same place now."

He looked back at me. "What's your name?" he asked softly.

I looked at him in surprise. Suddenly, I remembered reaching into the pocket of my school uniform and pulling out my ID card...

"I'm..." I began.

**Who was I?**

I remembered opening the drawer and finding my Beretta. It was a weapon, just like me. How could a living weapon have an identity? I couldn't remember...

"My name?" I asked, as I looked down.

How could I tell him that I didn't know who I was? I didn't even know my name.

**All I have is a fake name that no one calls me by...**

Milosh looked over at me. "Hey, no stress. We all have things that we don't talk about. It's fine." he replied gently, as he stood up and stared out at the water.

"Half of the Foreign Legion is from Western Europe, you know. It's an ugly place for men who have deserted their countries or who's countries have deserted them. Yet, that's what I've been thinking about since I've been painting here, whether I should join up again." he informed me.

He looked back at me and sighed. "Sorry, I can't expect someone like you to know what my world is like, can I?" he replied to me sadly.

I looked down sadly and narrowed my eyes. I know he has done things in which he's not proud of, just like me. I know of the world in which he speaks...

"No, not really." I told him instead.

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That evening-

The restaurant is crowded tonight as Mireille and I have dinner. I sat with my hands in my lap as my partner took a sip of tea. She lowered her cup and looked over at me.

"You're still seeing **that** man, aren't you?" she asked me firmly.

I looked at her for a second, then I lowered my head and narrowed my eyes.

"Yes" I admitted. Why did she care if I had a friend? She was going to kill me anyway when she found out the answers she wanted. So why couldn't she let me enjoy the time I had left- just painting in the park with Milosh?

Mireille sighed heavily, her teacup in midair, as a cross look passed over her face. She put her cup down and lowered her eyes. I could tell she was very upset at me.

"I could have sworn that I told you **not** to see him anymore!" she reprimanded me.

I looked at her unhappily, as I put my hands around my teacup. "**Why not?"** I asked firmly.

She looked back at me crossly but didn't say anything. I stared at her waiting for her answer...

Suddenly, my partner pulled her mirrored compact out of her purse and looked into it. I realized that there is a man watching us that is sitting behind us.

"He's following us?" I asked Mireille quietly.

"Yes." she said, as she quickly put her compact away and we both stood up and left .

We left the restaurant and walked through the park. It is dark out and we knew we were being followed. My partner walked slightly ahead of me.

"Is he still back there?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes." I confirmed. We decided to split up to take out the men.

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I walked in the dark of the park with my gun by my side.

Now I was having to do the hobby that I never wanted for myself. Unfortunately, this was the thing I was best at, but who wanted to be a nameless thing like I was?

I felt no emotion as I easily took out the two gunman who were standing in front of the one of the waterfalls of the park. I hid underneath the stream of water as I ended their lives without a thought...

The large blonde hitman wore his hair in a ponytail and was looking about in shock as Mireille and I came up behind him. This man must be Christian Galle, the man who wanted revenge on my partner after she killed his boss, Morgan- two years ago.

My partner pointed her gun on him steadily. "The last time we met you survived by running away." she told him lightly.

He turned away and looked over to where I was standing. I held my gun on him calmly. He looked upset and spun back around to face my partner.

"You Bitch!" he exclaimed, the hate evident in his voice.

Mireille narrowed her eyes. "Bad news, looks like checkmate." she told him coldly.

Suddenly, a white car came speeding up, it's headlights illuminating the dark park. Mireille and I had to roll and jump out of it's path to avoid getting hit.

"C'mon, get in quick!" the man driving yelled to the blonde man, who dashed into the car as my partner opened fire on him. The car took off, making me jump out of the way again to avoid it's path. I stared at the retreating headlights as Mireille came up beside me. She sighed in frustration and looked at me for a second before staring ahead. I knew she was very unhappy.

If **only** I knew...maybe I could have stopped what was coming next...

**If only I knew-**

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The Next day-

Milosh was sitting in his usual spot painting as I walked over to him. He looked up at me and smiled. "Hey." he greeted me softly, as I sat down next to him.

"Hello again." I replied, as I put my sketchbook in my lap.

He looked at me for a second, before turning and looking ahead. "I've decided to reenlist. Shooting people, getting metals...I'd gotten so sick of it, but I can't seem to find anything else that I'm good at." he said to me somberly.

Then he looked back at me again. "I guess I should have known that, huh?" he asked.

I laid my painting against my knees as I lowered my eyes. It's funny that he feels the same way I do. I'm so sick of killing people myself...I thought that just having this hobby would turn me into a normal girl- but it's not what I was made for.

**The only thing I was good at was killing...wasn't it?**

Milosh looked over at my painting. "You're painting turned out well. It's quite bold and tasteful too, even if it's still a little clumsy." he told me with a smile.

**Milosh liked my painting. I could create beauty as well as death...**

I looked over at Milosh fondly. "Do you think so?" I asked him sweetly.

I looked back down at the painting I had created. It **was** a thing of beauty.

Then maybe I could be too...

**---------------------**

We stopped outside the art store after dusk. Milosh looked down at me softly. "I guess this is goodbye." he told me gently.

How long had it been since we met? Just a few days and now he was leaving. I wondered if I would ever feel that peace again, like I did when he had sat beside me painting and treating me like a real girl...

I looked up at him. "Uh huh" I replied softly.

"Even in Africa, I painted whenever I could. You should keep painting too." he suggested to me.

"I will." I promised him.

"Well then." he replied, as he raised his hand in goodbye, turned and walked down the street.

I watched him sadly. I felt like I will never have a friend like him again. I felt funny inside as I watched him walk away from me, knowing I'll never see him again..

I turned to walk away, then noticed as I glanced into the art store window that the tiles he wanted have come back in stock. He wanted them so much...

-----------

I ran as fast as I could to catch up with Milosh. I wanted to give him these tiles as a going away present. I wanted to see his face one more time...

I see him down a side street and I almost collapse with relief. I would get to see him one last time.

"Mr. Milosh!" I yelled as I ran to him.

He looked over his shoulder at the sound of my voice calling his name. He looked pleased when he saw it was me...

I heard the squeal of brakes and noticed the expression on Milosh's face had turned to surprise.

I turned to look back over my shoulder and I realized with shock that the white car that Christian Galle had gotten away in last night was back and he was in the passenger side. He pulled out a semi- automatic weapon and began to shoot at me.

I dropped my art supplies and back flipped away from the barrage of bullets that are coming towards me. As I land, I pulled my beretta out and was ready to use it. The white car suddenly screeched off.

**Milosh! **

I turned and looked to where Milosh had been standing when the car had pulled up.

I cried out as I saw him lying crumpled in the street, his art supplies and sketchbook scattered around him.

**NO! No. This couldn't be happening...**

I ran over to his body and cradled his head in my arms. I felt like I could cry...

He groaned and struggled to open his eyes as I held him. I am still holding my gun in my hand...

"This gun.." he whispered to me.. He looked distressed, then a calm look passed over his face. "..No..it's okay. Please stop..." he whispered again.

Soon he was still...

**No...**

------------

A short time later-

Mireille is watching me as I put all of the art supplies into the river. Milosh's and my sketchbooks are both riddled with bullet holes. I even put the tiles into the river. If I had never brought them to him, he wouldn't have died. It's all my fault. Even when I tried to create beauty – death just followed me...

My partner came up behind me. "I know where Galle is hiding." she informed me in a weary voice.

I just stared out at the water. I think of all the dreams that died here today...

I wish I knew how to cry...

----------------

Galle's Hideout-

I felt nothing as I walked into the hideout and opened the door and shot and killed the three men that were playing cards and drinking. I finished them and walked away...

My partner went after the blonde man who had killed Milosh, but as I get ready to go up the stairs he is coming down. He looked at me like I was not a threat. He just doesn't know...

I stared at him...I didn't feel the least bit sorrowful for what I was about to do...

I shot him with one clean shot.

**That was for Milosh...**

------------------------

I sat at the window of Mireille's apartment and stared out listlessly. I couldn't forget what his dying words to me were..

"**This gun...Please stop."**

He had told me to stop doing the only thing I was good at. Killing...

I tried to create beauty and it still became bullet ridden and a reminder of death...

I tried to pretend I was a normal girl with a hobby and a friend...

Both were gone. Nameless monsters don't have hobbies or friends. Did they?

Besides it was all my fault...

Mireille was watching me with her arms folded against her chest. She leaned against the black dividing wall and looked very upset.

"This is **why** I told you..." she began to tell me, then her voice broke. I heard her stomp off to the kitchen.

I just stared out of the window...I wished I could cry..but I couldn't.

Funny, but I swear I hear Mireille crying...

Chapter 9 – Cold Blooded killer Act 1

A/n- These are not intended to bore anyone and if they do or you don't like them, then please don't read or leave flames. Thank you:) I like to use random bolded text in places.

These seemed like a good idea at the time and I do want to try to finish what I started. This are written in the first person POV so only Kirika's view is shown here.

This episode was very difficult for me plus the fact that Milosh was just so damn nice. I really felt that Kirika and him bonded and I don't feel it was a romantic crush for either. I feel Mireille lost someone in a similar way and was trying to warn Kirika not to get involved so she wouldn't go through the pain.

Thank you to the people who take time to leave reviews! You know who you are and I thank you greatly! No flames please.


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